Trespassing on Moonlit Grounds
by Tribute X
Summary: Night time. Moonlight is all but an illusion to the darkness. It represents hope where there is none. Its just covering the fear. I'm stuck between it. I'm lost in the blackness of it all. I want to die but at the same time I want to live. Cato the boy who saved me from death within and Peeta the boy with the passion in his eyes and soul. How does one decide on a love? Clato/Cleeta
1. A Dark Past

I wake up and feel Cato's arms wrapped around me. They radiate warmth. It is a nice change from the coolness that District two usually experiences at this time of the year. I can feel his pulse through his smooth skin which encases me. The feeling is natural and surreal all at the same time. Its mornings like these where I wish there was no such thing as 'later'. Cato and I have been dating for two years now and things have been getting serious. I don't think there is anyone I would rather spend my life with. Cato has recently become a peacekeeper. The hours are long and awkward but the money is good. He is trying to save up enough for us to get a house. At the moment we rent a small, dingy apartment. I often refer to Cato and me as a caterpillar. We start off small and slow until we can grow our wings and fly. I cannot wait for that day, but time to me has no meaning. I love every moment I have with him, whether up or down. A vibrating alarm pulls a reluctant Cato from the dark tendrils of sleep. His arms slowly slip away from me, leaving me feeling unnatural and alien-like.

"Work?" I ask, despising the words with such hate. He nods. I'm about to ask him if he can stay for a little while longer but I know that is not fair of me.

"I'll be back tonight Clove" He says. I wait for him to kiss me goodbye only to receive the banging of a closed door. I sigh. I don't want to feel as if his career is getting in the way of us but I don't know what to think. Lately this is the truth. He leaves just after dawn and comes back at midnight; the only moments we share are when he wakes me as he gets into the bed and as he leaves. This is one cycle that is just far too repetitive. I'm just waiting for our chance to break free of the tormenting hold. I remember the past days of our youth when no force on earth could tear us away from one another, we were inseparable. How times change…

* * *

(Past)

It was a gloomy day in District two; the sun took refuge behind the clouds, which all looked like hearts to me. I was on a high, riding the carefree waves of rapture. It was meant to be a normal day. It started with training in preparation for the Hunger Games in which children would fight for the privilege of honouring District Two in competition… _how naïve we all were back then_. I was practicing my knife throwing when Cato had wrecked my aim with his smug voice.

"Hey Clover"_ Clover. That is what he used to call me all the time. Now not so much. _

"Well if it isn't little Mr Superior…" I greet back. _That was how we would get along back then, by remark after remark. We were forced to supress our emotions in order to obtain the best state of mind for killing._ "Are you going to volunteer this year?"

"Of course Clover, I think it is my turn to bring pride to our district"_ How confident he was at that time. He thought he would go into the seventy-fourth games unopposed._ "What about you?"

"Definitely… and I'm fairly sure you won't be able to bring much pride to our district when you are dead… but don't worry maybe I'll mention you on the victory tour…"

"Over my dead body you will!" He laughs.

"Well duh, that's the idea!" I retort with a winning smile on my face.

Later that day after training he had told me he wanted to see me, alone, by the old oak tree by the river. _Oh how I loved that tree. It was the one thing that possessed such natural beauty._ I wondered why on earth he would want to see me after and why at the river though as I saw him under that tree my heart stopped completely for a moment. The sun is just at the right angle, to make his facial features seem like they are glistening.

"Clove, I'm just going to cut to the chase" He says, his lips parting into s smile. I make my way over and stand before the boy on the warm day presented to us. "Will you go out with me?" The question brought me to my knees, metaphorically of course. He had caught me off guard. I was vulnerable. "Well what do you say Clover?" I could not hold in the smile anymore. It spread across my face like wildfire.

"Yes" I whisper. The answer was easy. I had never thought much of having a relationship before, but now, that I was presented with the opportunity, I couldn't turn it down.

"What?" He asks. I'm not sure if he was asking it in disbelief or that he didn't hear me.

"Yes" I say louder, no longer afraid of my composure. He looks down at me, smiling eyes. He picks me up with his two arms, holding me in a hug, spinning around. It was the strangest feeling. Such an amazing one though. That was the first time I had ever been held by someone who wasn't a family member.

* * *

(Present time)

"Bye" I whisper, emotionally exasperated. I fall back on to the bed in vain. How soft the sheets feel on my ragged skin. Such a strange contrast. The bedding is a deep blue, like that found in the abyss of the ocean. It's meant to symbolize the serenity and security found in our love. I have never questioned it once. Not ever and not now. My mind gives away to voidness and my eyes, left with nothing interesting to look at close. Our walls are bare, save for one lone picture, framed by a thick mahogany structure and covered with clear transparent glass. Inside the frame, Cato and I stand at sixteen, smiling, his arm wrapped around my shoulder. _Our first date…_

* * *

_(Past time)_

It was the afternoon before the formal. I was planning on spending the day, at home, training for the seventy-fourth Hunger Games. In fact, I had just picked up my knives when I had heard a knock on the door. My parents were out, mum was at work and God only knows where dad was. Mum hadn't told me she was expecting anyone today, so I was extremely curious to see who it was. I put down my knives, all save one… you never know what kind of creeps you can find when you're not searching… not that you would of course… but you get the idea. I swung the door open, still holding onto the knife and gasp.

Standing before me was the handsome blonde. His eyes, so full of life and passion, that that alone almost took my breath away. It's what he was wearing that did the trick. On him, was a tuxedo, black as ash, completed with a mauve tie.

"You're not turning gay on me are you Cato?" I said pointing out his tie. _This was my greeting to him. It's strange how different couples work. _

"Don't count on it" He laughs. Such an amazing laugh… It was only then that I had realized his hands were behind his back. Before I even asked, he had brought them forward to me; revealing a picturesque bouquet of wild mallows. "See. They match" He says as he puts the flowers up by his tie comparing it for me. I grin at the boy's thoughtfulness. "For you" He says passing the bouquet to me.

"I don't recall telling you mallows were my favourite flower…" I said, impressed by his choice. The flowers were just absolutely stunning. How gritty and disgusting my hands looked in comparison

"It doesn't take a genius to see how you look at them whenever we pass the florist"

"So why are you so flashy?" I say, signalling to his tuxedo.

"I have to look my best for my date tonight"

"Your date? I already told you there is no way I'm going to the formal. It's a waste of time" Cato's smile broadens.

"Yeah, well I'm not here for that. I thought we could just spend the night here and relax"

"Looking like that? That's a little too dressed for 'just hanging' isn't it?" I couldn't figure this boy out. He comes to my house wearing this and expects me not to question it?

"Like I said, I want to look good for you" I sigh as I look down at my ratty clothes.

"You could have at least warned me… it would've given me a chance to look… a little more presentable"

"You look beautiful as you are" His words were fire, and I was ice; I could feel myself melting. He puts his hand out to me. "May I?" I laugh and grab his hand.

"You may. Just don't expect anything clean… like I said you didn't give me warning" His hand is soft and warm. Such a divergent to my cold and hard ones.

"I never did" He jokes. There went the gentlemen. I playfully punch him lightly on the shoulder.

"Well come on now" I say dragging him in, his hand still in mine. I pull him into the lounge room. "Any idea on what you want to do then?" Cato starts to open his tuxedo jacket. "What the hell Cato?! We have only been going out for what? Like a couple of weeks and you already want to have sex?!" I yell.

"Calm down Clover" He says as he grabs something from his the pocket inside his jacket. "I was just getting this" He passes me a DVD case. "It's a new movie that only came out yesterday on DVD. It reminded me of you" I smiled. It's funny how people think he is ruthless and sadistic. I looked at the cover: Grazandel Moonlight. "You didn't really think I was trying to have sex did you?" His smug smile had lit his face, making me feel even more embarrassed. Here I had accused this boy of sexual harassment when all he had done that night was shower me with gifts. Blush has managed to find its way onto my face.

"Let's just watch the movie…" I try, desperate to change the topic. I walk over to the DVD player and insert it in before turning on the TV and sitting myself on the couch with the remote. My eyes rest on the handsome blonde. "Come on" I pat the cushion next to me. The couch was an orange shade that often made me think of the sunset. _How I admired_ _it_. The couch went with the red design of the walls quite well. The boy sat down beside me and I pressed play. Halfway through the movie Cato had wrapped his arm around me, shielding me with his warmth and security.

_The movie was about a young girl, no more than sixteen, falsely imprisoned due to her dad accusing her of killing her mother. She is sentenced to a life of solitary confinement, which was meant to drive her completely insane; no one was allowed to talk to her. But… one person, a prison guard's son, broke the rules. He would talk to the girl whenever he could. After a month, you find out a lot about the boy like his age, favourite colour, family and even favourite foods. The movie is casted from the girl's perspective, preventing you the visual of the boy. The girl tells him of how she was wrongly sentenced and how no one believes her. That's why she is so surprized when the boy tells her he believes her. He also tells her that he will get her out of this forsaken hell. Later that night the boy steals the key from his father and unlocks the door. This is when she sees the boy for the first time, he is stunning. She knows she is in love. The couple run away together, taking refuge in the town until they can make up enough money to move into the mountains. There her now boyfriend works with the mayor, never being home for the girl. She knows she still loves him beyond care though. She usually sits at home, waiting for her boyfriend to come home all day, just trying to pass time. She soon comes to the revelation that this house is becoming her new imprisonment. So in order to change things around she finally ventures into the beautiful town she has only seen through window. Down there she meets someone. Another guy. She starts to fall for the guy and is torn between the two. That is where the movie basically ends. _

I get up and remove the DVD before turning the television off.

"How does that remind you of me?" I ask amazed that he would even compare us. In my eyes we were extremely different. Opposites almost. I would never be unfaithful to my boyfriend. I couldn't understand how people could do that, how they could let themselves fall for someone else even though they are in a relationship. People like that sicken me.

"You are like the girl. You are strong. You don't give up when times are difficult" I smile at the compliment but inside my head I questioned it. When had I ever had to be strong? I don't think I have been through such times of hardship that require strength. I know my composure is generally placid and secure but that is because I have never been confronted with such times_. Now of course it is different. I know that I have been through a lot. I know despite my face, my voice and my composure, giving me a 'strong' look I was crying on the inside. Sometimes even I still am. It takes me a while to remember that such weaknesses are not looked upon pleasantly by others. They view down with pity and empathy. I do not want others pity. There is no need for it. What am I supposed to do with gentle words? I can't build a shelter with them to block out the cruelty of the world, I can't submerge myself in them without drowning, so I ask what exactly can I do with them?! Nothing. Nothing at all. Such feeble words are too weak to hold one up in the world of the living._

"I should probably head back. I told my parents I would be back by eleven" He looksat his watch with eyes that widen. I lead him to the door, opening it for him.

"Thanks for coming Cato" I whisper. "I really appreciate it" The boy smiles back at me before leaning down and kissing me gently on the lips. His lips were warm and moist. They were so gentle it was like being kissed by a feather. My first kiss.

"See ya Clover" He says before walking down my path and disappearing into the blackness which consumes him.

About one month later from that encounter I received the news..

* * *

(Past time still)

It was a grey, miserable morning. The kind of mornings I love. I had gotten up early to train. The knives felt friendly inside my hands. We had come acquainted to one another by this time. As I was passing through the kitchen I saw my parents. They were sitting by the table conversing contently until they had seen me.

"Clove we have to talk to you" My father's voice says. I grab a chair and sit at the table with them.

"Your dad and I are going on a work holiday" My mother said.

"A work holiday?" I ask, the two words sounding like oxymoron to me.

"I'm going to district four for work for a week and your mother is going to district one for a few days"

"Clove, if you want I can stay. I don't have to work. Just give me the word and I'll message them straight away. I don't mind if I go or don't" My mother asks.

"No it's fine mum. I can take care of myself for a few days"

"Are you sure?" Her concerned voice asks.

"Of course. Seriously don't worry about me, I'll be fine. When do you leave?"

"We both leave later today" My dad says.

I watch my parents leave the driveway. I even wave to them as they pull the car out onto the road. I sat myself in front of the television and watched a movie. _I don't really remember what it was about but I remember dozing off in the middle of it_. I hadn't even bothered to turn the television off. When my eyes open they are greeted to flames. Bright burning flames which tower the landscape. I shake my head, breaking my dazed mind. The television lights the room up, illuminating the walls with the tongue split pattern of wildfire.

"Train 183 crashed earlier this morning. No survivors have been found so far. The ambulance have not given up though and are continuing their search. More information at twelve" The news reporter's emotionless voice says. I sit myself up right and repeat the words inside my head. Train 183. Train 183… I couldn't understand why it sounded so familiar. I flick off the television and grab myself a bowl of cereal. As I sat at the table and slowly dug into my full bowl my subconscious finally worked it out. Train 183 was my mother's train. **No survivors found…** realisation twisted its clawing fingers around my heart and squeezed. Hard. She was dead. It was strange to think that someone I had always imagined to be there for me was suddenly gone. I couldn't believe it. From that time I already decided that there would be no school today. No training. No nothing. So instead I went to my bed and curled up into a ball, waiting for sleeps beautiful hold to give me something peaceful to cherish. It worked too. My dreams were filled with moments shared with my mother throughout my life. How I had longed to see that all-knowing smile of hers again.

_Two days later had seen the arrival of my father_. He had come back early. Knowing that someone was here who could help me hold up with the sadness which bloomed inside was a good feeling. As soon as he had arrived inside I could see he has changed. His usual smiling face was now a grim frown of despair.

"Dad… she's gone isn't she?" I whisper across the room. He does not answer; instead he brings his eyes upon me before glaring.

"You!" He shouts, anger violently intruding his words. "You killed her!"

"What?" I ask surprised by his sudden outburst.

"You killed her!" He repeats. "Why didn't you tell her to stay? Why?!" He screams again. He steps toward me in such a vicious manner that I am afraid he will strike me. Who is this man? This is not my father. I know that for sure. "Get the fuck out of my house!" I stand looking shocked, scared. "Now!" I run out of the door, adrenaline due to fear, coursing my veins. I knew he couldn't hold himself back for any longer. I hadn't cried one tear this whole time. Not once. My mother had died and my father has disowned me but no tears fell. Was I sad? Of course. My heart was breaking, my hands were trembling, my brain clouded by immense depression and myself was completely destroyed. Broken beyond repair.

I make my way to my last spot of beauty in my life. The tree by the river where Cato had asked me out. I fall to the ground in a heap. One broken heap. I watch the river as its cool tendrils wrap themselves around the odd rock which pointed out. I watch the banks slowly eroding away. I watched the rain fall from the sky and land in my hair. Its' cold drops the only relief from the sorrow poisoning me. Steps from my right had indicate someone's arrival.

"Dad?" I asked looking up, hoping against hope that he was standing before me. That emancipation was only a deluded act.

"Cato. Sorry to disappoint" My eyes felt watery and for the first time in this whole scenario I had let a tear escape. "Why are you out here? What's wrong Clove?" The boy sat down beside me in the mud.

"Mum's dead" Cato's eyes widened, full of empathy.

"Clove I'm so sorry. How had she died?" **Details.** That's all people want to know isn't it? Well if he wants them he could have them. I definitely didn't want them.

"Train crash"

"Oh. I'm so sorry" He says wrapping his arms around me. "How did your dad react?"

"Badly. He took his anger out on me and blamed me for my mother's death. He emancipated me" My lips quiver and I was scared that more tears would fall. He pulls me in closer to him.

"You can stay with us" Such caring words_. I was so lucky to have a boyfriend as amazing as him._ The boy gets up and offers his hand to me. "Come on, let's go introduce you to the family" I grab his hand and wipe away my tears with my other hand.

_That's when I had met his mother for the first time. His father had died when he was three. He tells me he doesn't remember much of him._

Cato opens the door slowly. "Mum? You here?" He shouts.

"Yeah, I'm in the lounge room" She shouted back. He walks in and waves for me to follow. I do as he asks. His walls are a light shade of blue; the wooden floor boards a tinted shade of red. From the start of the doorway, a hallway stretches down, to stairs which lead upstairs. As I walk in, we pass the kitchen on the right side of the hall. It is immaculate and looks to be made out of marble. We continue walking to reach an opening in the wall on the right, where the lounge room sits. The ground is carpeted, with a black rug. Two lounges sit side by side, both black. On one is a woman about the age of thirty-eight. Her hair is blonde like Cato's and eyes brown like melted chocolate. She is wearing a blouse that is silver, flecked with golden spots across the bottom. Her jeans look to be a denim type of fabric. "Why hello there, I don't think I've met you before. Cato's never had a girl over before…" She says playfully.

"Mum this is Clove. Her mother just died." The sudden changing of her facial expression would have been humorous if I wasn't so broken. "And her father just disowned her" His mother's mouth opens wide.

"You poor dear. I'm so sorry" She wraps her arms around me without hesitation, despite me being wet still from the rain. "Do you have anywhere to stay?" Her voice full of concern. I shake my head. "You are welcome to stay with us" _Her kindness from that day still amazes me. She had only known me for a minute or less and she had already invited me to stay with her._

"Thank you. Thank you so much" I whisper into her ear, still in her embrace.

"You can stay in the spare room. Cato would you be a dear and show Clove up to the bedroom?"

"Of course" His mother finally lets go of me.

"Oh and get her some clothes that aren't soaking wet and a towel" Cato nods and then guides me up the stairs. Once we reach the second floor my eyes scan my surroundings quickly. The same floorboards cover the ground; to the left was two closed wooden doors that looked like mahogany, to the right, three doors made of the same wood sit. We walk to the second last door on the right.

"This will be your room" He says as he opens the door, revealing a light shade of silver wallpaper which compliments the perfect white sheets on the double sized bed. To the right of the bed is a dressing table with an immaculate mirror.

"It's beautiful. Thanks" I whisper still loss in my despair.

"I'll be right back" He says, walking off. I looked down at the ground to see drops of water on the floor.

"Damn" I whisper to myself. I stand awkwardly for a moment, just before Cato had come back. He chucks me a purple towel. "Thanks" I say as I dry myself off. He chucks some clothes at me after I am done with drying.

"They were mum's when she was younger. She thought she would keep them just in case she ever had a girl. She was disappointed. She said you could have them" I nod my head in thanks. "Here I'll show you the bath" He grabs my arm and pulls me to the last door on the right, the one to the left of mine. He opens the door. The bathroom was like the kitchen, the wallpaper resembled marble. There was a white sink and bath, a towel rack and a small window behind the bath. "Use the red towel" He says pointing to the towel rack. "I'll leave you to it" He says before exiting.

"Thank you Cato" I whisper under my breath.

I start the warm water running into the bath and strip off my clothes. I submerge myself into the tepid water. It is soothing, it is calm, it is inviting. It is exactly the opposite of how I feel inside. How could something so horrifying like this happen to me? Sure we have all seen the movies where these types of things happen, but I had always thought they were just Hollywood tales meant to give us some sort of entertainment. Yet here it was happening to me, right now. I have never felt so broken before. I look at the water, still so inviting. I lower my head, closer to the peaceful waters. I have never felt so ruined that I have considered death before, but now it looks welcoming. I take a heavy inhale. Life. Was is the use of it if there is nothing left to hold? Surely death would be less painful? I slide into the water, chin deep before hesitating again. A mother who is no longer, a father who is not and an aching world where the weak are taken as prey for the mightier, this is not where I want to be. I slider more, my mouth is now covered. A couple of minutes is all it will take… I can end it all. Right now. No more pain. No more despair. No more nothing. I close my eyes and submerge completely.

Silence feels my ears. It is deafening. I think about my life. I think about everything I had. Beautiful caring parents… what else though? I never was the friendliest person on the earth. A tapping noise penetrates my thoughts. I shake my head, trying to throw out the nuisance. It doesn't work. I can still hear it loud and clear. The tapping increases to a drumming. The door. Someone is knocking. I lift my head up and draw a big breath.

"Clove?" The voice echoes. Cato.

"Yeah?" I manage, still feeling light headed.

"Just checking if you were okay. You've been in there for an awfully long time. Don't want you to drown you know?" He semi-jokes. **If only he knew.**

"I'll be out in a moment" I wait for the footsteps to leave before getting out. I reconsider the concept of suicide. How stupid I was being, how could I leave this world behind when I still had one of the most important things?

I still have the boy with the tux. And I'm not planning on leaving him anytime soon.


	2. The Tipping Point

**Chapter 2 – The Tipping Point  
ooc: Hufflepufficus - Thankyou so much for your support! I hope you like it, I am in the middle of the next chapter already, hoping it will be up by the weekend =D)  
**

My eyes flick open. The sturdy boy is still not next to me. I sigh, before pushing myself up, off the blue sheets which encase me, shielding me with its 'security'. My feet touch the ground and they shiver for a moment, the floorboards are cold, barren and lacking in vivacity. The morning air has departed, and has now turned into a denser afternoon pressure. My feet carry me to the other end of our small unit, where a lone window stands. It's transparency granting me the only look at time. Outside, the sky is a greyish black; rain will fall any moment now. _Then I can succumb to its rhythmic tapping…_ The sun is hidden behind all clouds, preventing me any notice of how long time has lasted. Or how long is to go. I slide down against the wall, coming to a rest on the floor. _One day you will be happy again…_

* * *

(Past time)

I dry myself off, scolding myself for such bitter thoughts. _I would have done it… I would have._ The words I know are one-hundred percent truthful. I hang up the towel, with minimal effort before putting my clothes on. He has given me a white nightgown to wear. I slip it on and take a moment to admire the effect the gown has on me. It grants me an angelic yet ghostly charm. The top of the gown is laced with silver fabric, giving it the look of a spider web glistening in the sunlight. I smile, before hanging my clothes and leaving. The hall is empty and I'm not quite sure what I am meant to do. I feel out of place like snow in the summer.

"Cato?" I ask awkwardly.

"Downstairs Clove, it's dinner time" His mother responds. I walk down the stairs which I notice creak under each step, up the hall I go, each foot gaining more and more hesitance. I past the lounge room; taking a moment to look in at the black couches. I near the corner, which sets me apart from the others. I pause, vacillating for a moment. Do I step forward and pry into the lives of these kind people any more than I already have or do I turn back now? The delicious scents plead at my nose for entrance, beckoning me with every second that goes by. My stomach rumbles, also trying to push me into making the decision. Reluctantly I make the step forward, giving away my concealment from the others.

"Come join us Clove. We are having enchiladas" His mother says motioning me to come sit down next to Cato.

"Thank you" I get out before taking a few faltering steps. Cato pulls the chair out, next to him and pats the seat signalling for me to join him. I smile as I look into his eyes. _Such concernment resting in his eyes._ Under his gaze I feel protected. I feel secure. I feel… alive. _Such a contrast to how I felt moments ago in the bath._ I take a seat next to him. In front of me a plate containing a couple of enchiladas repose. When my eyes look up from them, they are greeted by a set of pale brown eyes. The eyes are complimented by the fair set of hair on his head. His features are smooth, and covered in youth.

"Clove, this is Acacius" The boy waves, with a shy smile apparent on his face. "And this is Eucario" His mother says as she signals to the smaller boy on the right of Acacius. He has a set of bright blue eyes and shining blonde hair. _He is like the younger version of Cato…_ I look at him, then back to Cato. They are almost exact clones of one another if you look past the age difference. The only thing that sets the pair apart is that Eucario has a small birthmark on the right side of his neck. "Acacius is twelve and Eucario is six" _Didn't Cato say his father died when he was three…_

"Nice to meet you both" I say, smiling._ Manners._

"I hope you like it, it's one of the boys' favourites" She says, smiling that kind-hearted smile that very few people can master. She's one of them.

"I'm sure I will it smells delicious"_ Manners._ That must have been the signal for everyone to start eating because Acacius, Eucario and Cato all start, simultaneously. I resist the urge to just pick it up and inhale it. Instead I pick up the knife and fork by the side of my plate and start cutting slowly. _Manners._

I bring the first forkful up to my mouth and let the taste tantalize my tongue. Closed mouth, I chew lightly, allowing the full flavour to take my tastebuds on a ride to places they have never been. I look over at Cato's mum to see her eyes on me as if she is analysing me. As if she is judging her decision to let me stay.

"This is delicious Ms Douglas" _Manners._ But that isn't a lie. The food is actually possibly the best thing I have ever tasted. The ends of her lips curve and instantaneously I know that I said the right thing.

"Thank you Clove" She says before bringing a mouthful of food up to her lips. I take her lead. "If there is anything you want you just let me know okay?" I nod my head, thankful for such kindness. "So how do you and Cato know each other?"

"We go to training school together" I answer.

"Ah of course. Are you two a couple?" Cato starts choking on his food.

"We're just friends mum"

"You're absolutely full of it Cato. It doesn't take a genius to see that you are both madly in love with one another. The way you look at Clove is like how your father used to look at me. Before everything…" She trails off. "And Clove, you do carry a better poker face. But not by much" She laughs winking at me. "Clove, since my own son probably won't tell me, could you tell me how long you have been a couple?"

"About one and a half months" I say, catching the sideways glare that Cato shoots me. Cato's two brothers make out 'oooh' sounds to tease Cato with.

"Shut up you two!" He grumbles. I look over to him and spot a tiny bit of blush which is apparent on his face.

"Cato!" She shouts, half furious, half playful. "You have had a girlfriend for over a month now and you haven't even invited her over for dinner?! What is wrong with you! It's manners!" There was that word again:_ Manners._ "Well then I guess this is a special night for the pair of you" She finishes off her last mouthful before collecting the plates of everyone else.

"Right, Eucario, Acacius bed time" The two boys start to protest but are cut off. "Not a word. Bed. Now" The two boys get up reluctantly, muttering something about unfairness. "Cato, would you tuck them in for me please?" Cato nods before getting up and following the two boys around the corner. Ms Douglas has started to fill the sink with saponaceous bubbles. We are the only two left in the room. _Manners._ I get up and walk over to her.

"Where do you keep the tea towels?" I ask.

"There should be one on the stove" I turn around and walk over to the silver lined stove. On the handle rests a lone blue tea towel. I grab it, the fabric is soft and fluffy. Ms Douglas places a dripping plate into the black plastic rack by the side of the sink. Without hesitation I reach over and grab it, wiping it over with the blueness of the tea towel.

"Where do your plates go?" I ask.

"Over in that cupboard" She says, half-turning to point to the corner. I walk over and place the plate in on top of the other ones carefully. "Thank you Clove for helping"

"It's fine" I say as I grab the next plate to dry. "Thank you" She turns to look at me with a confused expression on her face.

"What for?"

"For everything like giving me a place to stay… I really appreciate your kindness and don't worry I will pay for rent" I didn't have a job, but that was going to change. Paying would be the least I could do for such kindness.

"No! You don't need to pay a cent! It's fine!" She says sounding almost shocked at such an obscure statement.

Bits of chatter pass throughout the time whilst we wash. I put away the last knife before turning around to smile at the lady who has made my day that much easier.

"Anything else that needs to be done?" I ask, hoping to show her that I will do my best to earn my keep.

"No that's everything dear" _Dear._ That is what my parents used to call me… tears start to form again and I push them back into my head. "Why don't you and Cato watch a movie?" And as if on cue Cato arrives. "The dishes are finished Cato. I was just telling Clove how you should both watch a movie" She says, her famous playful smile crawling onto her face.

"Sure. Sounds good. Come on Clove" He turns and heads back out the doorway. I glance at Ms Douglas and see her wink at me.

"Off you go. Shoo!" She motions with her hands to emphasise it. Without further hesitation I follow my blonde haired boy away from the kitchen and into the lounge room. He has already situated himself on one of the black couches already. This time it is he who pats the seat next to him, silently beckoning for me to sit next to him. If he willed it I would oblige. How could I say no to such benign eyes? The touch of the couch makes my body instantly relax, as if it was built with tenseness in mind. Cato, despite my protests, chucks on a comedy, declaring that it would 'lighten my mood' and 'preoccupy my mind with humour'. After the first ten minutes, his arm wraps around me and I do not fight the singularity of charm that I have come to love.

The movie is a remake of a 2006 movie, 'Click'. I'm rather glad it is a remake; I wouldn't want to sit through something with such horrible picture quality. Forty minutes through the movie and I have found myself laughing at every stupid little joke made. I remember my mother telling me once, before her death of course, that laughter was the best medicine. Back then I had just rolled my eyes at such fatuous words. Now I truly understand the meaning behind it. It works. It has my mind completely 'preoccupied with humour'. That's when Ms Douglas interrupts with the enticing scent off butter covered popcorn.

"Here you go" She says gently as she hands me a big bowl of mouth-watering popcorn.

"Thanks mum" Following Cato's lead I thank the lady and just like she appeared she is gone; phantom-like. I take a handful of popcorn, before averting my eyes back to the TV. The movie is peculiar, it draws you in for the humour but it reaches a tipping point, where the events are found to no longer be humorous, but instead an unexpected oppressiveness. If humour is the best medicine, then tragedy is the worst. I feel myself sinking back into the world of the dead. My laughter has long gone. It seems like whispers in the dark now. Left vulnerable by the sudden transition from humour to oppression I bury myself in the warmth and security of Cato, who doesn't seem to mind one little bit. After the movie, I pry myself from Cato, which is difficult for me to do. Not because he is clingy but because I was so content and satisfied in that position: hidden from the world inside his arms. It is strange to think that two months ago I would have never thought of such things. I had ranked boys somewhere between rocks and windows for distractions. I had noticed a lot of boys but never had I really took interest in them. I had thought relationships were for the weak that couldn't stand by themselves. Two months later I still feel the same. Never have I felt this weak before.

The boy gets up, pulling me with him and leads me up to the guest bedr-, _sorry_ _my bedroom. _He stands in the doorway as he watches me crawl under the sheets. He then comes up to me and gently kisses my forehead like a father would to a daughter. The boy turns away.

"Goodnight Clove" Playing the role of child I ask him to stay.

"Stay… please" I know sleep will let the memories of today flood in, overwhelming me with their vividness and I fear that being alone tears will fall. He turns back to me, and sits on the end of my bed.

"Okay" Was his response. A simple one word. The effect that it had on me though, was anything but simple. My lips curved upwards.

"Can we talk?" I murmur, tired but apprehensive of sleep.

"Sure, what about?"

"Do you remember the first time we met?" Old memories clouding me like a fog…

_It had been a summer day and I had just turned ten when I had convinced my parents to let me transfer to a prestigious training school. Of course, not all applicants were granted access, they only took the best. Previously, I had self-taught myself how to throw knives, trying to prove to my parents that I was serious about volunteering as a tribute. After they relented, they took me to audition, which was what I presumed, similar to how the game makers would rate each tribute with a training score. As I stood in a stadium-like room, before them I grabbed a pair of new shining throwing knives. My hands were trembling. This had been everything I was training for. Everything I had ever wanted. _

"_Show us what you can do" One of the people said, obviously sick of repeating the statement to every new hopeful…_

_I transferred a knife to my dominant hand and… fumbled. I had dropped the knife. The group of watchers snickered at such satire content. I picked it back up, cursing under my breath. Amidst the group was one blonde haired boy, who had managed to sneak in through the back. He rolled his eyes at me. That's when something had broken in me. I threw the knife, but not at the target that was set for me, but instead at the boy. The knife had hit the wall, he had been leaning against, between his neck and right shoulder. _

"_I thought there wasn't meant to be other children here?" I shouted, anger coursing my veins. I look back at the boy whose smug face had transformed into a frightened state of shock. This caused me to smile, at him. _

"_Cato, please welcome your newest peer…" The person had trailed off._

"_Clove" I finished for him. _

"_Ahem, yes Clove"_

That was the first time I had met Cato.

"Mm, sadly yes. You know you basically traumatized me" Cato says. I laugh.

"Well it served you right for being such a little brat" I snide, sleep still holding on tightly; its weary hold gaining.

"Says the one who threw a knife at my head…" By now Cato had slid in beside me under the covers.

"Yeah well you shouldn't have snuck in there…"

"Oh, so you throwing a knife at me is my fault?" He laughs.

"Yes. Everything is your fault" I joke.

"Well then I guess everything good is my fault as well" In the darkness I can see him poking his tongue out at me right now.

"No… that's not how it works. Everything bad is your fault and everything good is mine" I deride.

"Well then… what does that mean in our relationship?" His hand grips mine.

"It means that if you agree with everything I say, we will work out" I joke. My eyes are closed now.

"Right… let me just make a mental note of that" He remarks sarcastically.

Sometime throughout the night, we falls victims to the grasp of sleep. My night is free from all nightmares and cruelty. Wrapped inside of his arms seemingly give me the illusion of warmth and security… but for now, I am willing to take the illusion over the reality. It has given my heart a break from the torturous ensnares of anguish and despondency which had previously declared my heart, unopposed, under their rule. Well, Cato, this warrior of all things good and sanguine, has seen the demise of their treacherous reign. Such malignancy has no place in the inner core of one's soul. The battle is not over though; no it is far from over. In fact this is more of a tipping point than an actual obvious revolution. One day though I shall find absolution from the affliction. I don't know when, but something tells me as each day passes the struggle for freedom of all hurt will lessen. Only then will I know what it is like to be once again jocund.

(OOC: Hey thanks for reading guys! I hope you are enjoying it... please review guys! it give me my inspiration!)


	3. Loss of sanctuary

**Chapter 3- Loss of sanctuary**

(OOC: song theme: 'Never Let Me Go' – Florence and the machine)

I walk over to the fridge, open the door and grab a jug of water out. The glassy surface is covered in a thin layer of moisture, granting a distorted translucent view instead of a normal transparent one. It makes it harder to see things clearly, it makes it disillusioned. _Just like me._ Things were meant to have been better. Things were have meant to clear up, to be _transparent_. But no. Nothings is ever as it seems. Nothing is transparent. Some people like it that way though. In my thoughts lives can be compared to different depths in the ocean. The closer you are to the surface, the more visible. The deeper you are the less visible. Some people will dive down into the water, further and further, at any chance they are given, whilst others are crushed by the atmospheric pressure pushed on them. They have gone too far down. I know what level I am, I am one of the few people who have gone too far, who have been crushed and they are simply just watching their body slowly drift down deeper and deeper. I want to swim up, I want to take my first breath, I want to do so many things, things which I can't do at this pressure. But I am stuck. I want to see life, to see the moonlight for more than just a fractured dot. But I am no longer in control; I am just driftwood in the arms of the ocean, waiting for someone, anybody who can manage the pressure of the deep, for them to swim to me and rescue me. I scream for Cato to help, but whenever I open my mouth, water fills its way in, deeming my pitiful cries, useless. Even if I manage to scream, to make any sound at all, he wouldn't hear me. He is too far away… in a different pressure…

* * *

(Past time)

It has been two weeks since I joined the Douglas family. I have come to know everyone so well in such little time, even Eucario and Acacius. In my time here, I have found out that Ms Douglas's favourite colour is a lighter variant of magenta, her favourite food is smoked salmon and she loves wild roses. Just last Tuesday, she had taken me shopping. To be honest, I really didn't want to go. I'm one of those people who despise the word shopping with such pure hatred. But, I couldn't refuse, she had been so happy about the thought of taking me shopping. I guess that having a family of only boys makes you crave for the girly side of things again. And despite my thoughts about shopping, it actually turned out to be really fun. Yes you heard me correctly: fun. I ended up getting a pair of brown cargo jeans, black shorts, a dark blue shirt and various other things. Ms Douglas also ended up getting a few things: a pair of faded blued skinny jeans, black jeans, an orangey-brown shirt, etc. We were about to leave when she had stopped at a rack. She had pulled off a black dress.

"Clove, try this on" She said as she handed it to me.

"Umm, Ms Douglas?"

"Call me Grace"

"Okay, Grace?"

"What is it?"

"I'm not exactly a dress type person" I said as I held the dress out to her.

"Nonsense. It will look amazing on you" She said as she pushed it back to me. "Now go try it on" She demanded. I took a step toward the changing rooms before giving a hesitant look back. "Off you go!" Prompted by the eagerness in her voice I made my way to the changing room. Once I got into the room I muttered angrily about being persuaded to wear a dress. I had only wore a dress once before, and that was at my uncle's wedding when I was five. When I was ten I had vowed never to wear a dress, as I thought that they were only for girly girls, the type you find at school being the plastics. I took off my clothes and put on the dress as quickly as possible, hoping to get this over and done with as soon as possible. As I put on the dress I turned away from the mirror, trying to avoid myself seeing me in such a petty state.

I must have been taking a while because Ms Douglas knocked on the changing room door.

"Are you finished yet?" She asked.

"I just need to zip up the back" I responded.

The door opened and Ms Douglas stepped in.

"Here let me help you with that" I obediently turned so my back was facing her. She zipped it up quickly with nimble fingers. "Now let me look at you" I turned back around, facing her. "Wow… you are beautiful! What do you think?" My curiosity bested my stubbornness and I looked in the mirror. The dress was elegant yet seductive, it was sleeveless – stopping at the shoulders- and the bottom of the dress stopped just above my knees and wasn't too frilled, _thankfully. _The word frills to me is synonymous with: blech, yuck and hurry-up-and-kill-me-now. The middle of the dress possessed a dark grey and brown belt with silver studs.

"I love it" I said, being sadly, completely truthful. It made me look stunning.

"Well, take it off now so I can buy it" I obliged. That was when I saw the price tag. **$200**.

"No that is far too pricey. I don't need it" I said reluctantly.

"Well, why don't you consider it an early birthday present?" She said as she took the dress.

"My birthday is eight months away!" I protest.

"Fine, consider it a late one then" She smirked as she turned toward the cashier. My mouth opened in another attempt to object but no words came out. They were held back by temptation. And that's how I robbed a kind woman of two hundred dollars…

I have also come to know Acacius better. I have found out that he loves science, and when he grows up he wants to be a hydrologist. I have actually taken him to the local creek a few times for him to study it. He has shown me how to test the water quality and the turbidity. I know that he has two best friends called Galen and Alexis. I also know that he has a crush on Alexis…

Eucario, the six year old boy wants to be just like his older brother Cato. He demands to be put into training school next year, but his mother doesn't think it is right for him to decide so early. She tells him when he's ten he can make that decision, this resolution is generally met by an angry six year old though.

I sit in the lounge room, waiting for Cato to get ready so we can go to training. Acacius sits next to me and we are talking quietly, trying not to wake up Eucario or his mother. It is six in the morning at the moment, the only reason Acacius is up is because he is committed to getting up to do at least an hour of studying every morning and night. At the moment, he is having a break. We are talking about his birthday, which is next week.

"So what do you want to do for it?" I ask.

The boy shrugs. "I don't know"

"Why don't you ask your mum if you can have Alexis and Galen over?" I suggest.

"Do you think she would let me?"

"I don't see why not" The boy sends me a smile which reflects the meaning of his name: innocent. An echo of footsteps looming from around the corner interrupts the converse.

"You ready Clove?" Cato says.

"Pshh, don't act like I'm the reason we will be late" I say adding a slight laugh on the end as I get up and join the towering blonde. "Bye Acacius" I wave to the boy before we head out the door.

It is autumn, the leaves are falling and the early air is starting to cool. I shiver as we trudge our way through the litter of leaves. I look over at Cato who is wearing our grey uniform, which was made to be the same colour of the rocks we mine; to remind us of our districts specialty: masonry. The uniform is composed of a polo shirt and a pair of shorts which go just over the knees. On the right of the chest stands a small golden emblem saying 'Heroicus State School'. People don't need to even look at the words to know that we attend a training school. The colour of the emblem -gold-, is the colour given to all prestigious schools, as they are seen to be the highest ranked. Private schools are the second highest and are granted silver emblems. Whilst public schools are given a plain bronze. Acacius attends a Private took him two years to persuade his mother into letting him though, eventually like all parents she gave in.

Prestigious schools are locally renowned for their training, or to a peacekeeper their 'excellence in physical areas', whilst Private schools are renowned for their excellence in academics. Eucario has just started his first year at Public school.

I do not bother to try at a conversation with Cato; in my years of experience with him I have come to know that he isn't exactly a 'morning person'… to put it lightly. I know he can get ticked off at the slightest things, like for example: if I stand too close to him. This is why I stand a reasonable two meters away.

After ten minutes of walking we arrive at the all prestigious Heroicus State School. We make it just prior to the sounding of first period. I have hand to hand combat and Cato has cross country training –in order to improve stamina-. I wave to him as we part. This is the first day back at school after the summer holidays. I can't wait to talk to Athesius –my good friend-, I haven't seen him since last day of school.

I walk over to room seven and open the door. The room is more of a gym without equipment than a classroom. The walls are a neutral grey and the room on a whole is barren and empty of everything besides people. It seems everyone is already there. I'm instantly overcome with joy when I see Athesius. Out of the ten or twelve students here he is the only one who instantly grabs my eye. His hair is a rebellious light variant of orange, his eyes a bright light red –contacts I'm sure- and his skin a usual dark tanned colour. He stands against a wall, arms crossed, with an expression that portrays a seemingly bored figure. His eyes find me and I watch as his expression instantly disintegrates. Athesius has always been set apart from others with his visual appearance and his calmly cool demeanor. I'm guessing the blend of these two things is what sets him as hot by the entire girl population. I won't lie either, his insurgent style does appeal to me… but don't get me wrong, we are nothing more than friends.

"Thank God you are here Clove… I don't think I could have survived in such a boring atmosphere" His words catch a few glares from the guys around us. The girls all seem to be preoccupied with their ogling to hear a word.

"Boring?" I laugh; this was one of the least boring places ever. Considering the whole weapon handling and constantly trying to better one another in order to prove that you should be the tribute to bring glory and honour to our district. "Are you sure you and I are even in the same place? And besides, how can it be boring when you are constantly stringing a whole flock of girls with you wherever you go?" I motion to some of the girls with love-sick dopey grins on their face.

He laughs. "It's a lot more tiring than you'd think… anyway where's the teacher?" I turn my head. There's no sight of any teacher, which is strange, because in a training school punctuality is to be perfect or consequences are dealt… and that's to either party. I have never, not once in my entire experience at Heroicus have ever had a late teacher. I shrug in response.

"Who cares?" I say drunk on the thought of having a free period.

"True. How was your summer?" There it was: the daunting question.

"Good" I lie, adding a smile to the end. To be honest I don't know why I said it, Athesius is my best friend, I guess I just didn't want to be forsaken with everyone's pity like I'm a walking charity. And who knows, maybe if I act like it never happened I might be able to believe it.

"Come on give me details Clove"

I sigh. "Well, I spent majority of my time training and sleeping. Detailed enough for you?" I don't why I lied again. I guess once I started I couldn't stop. "What about you Athesius? Didn't catch to many STD's I hope"

He laughs. "Oh you think you have me all figured out don't you?" His voice carries a certain edge which makes me just want to laugh with him, smile with him and basically follow him around like one of his fan clubbers. "And for your information, I didn't get with anyone…" I already know that. Athesius, despite his authority over women has never been much of a womanizer. "Not like that anyways" I look in shock towards him, his face is lathered in mischief.

"Do go on"

"It's nothing like you are thinking, so don't let your thoughts get the best of you…" He flashes me an infamous toothy grin. "As you are aware, my parents took me to District four for the holidays…"

"Beach romance?"

He nods. "I was lying down on the beach" Undoubtedly furthering his _dark tan _"And that's where I saw her. Or more so felt her…" I arch my eyebrow.

"Hands on hand action already?"

Athesius lets out a small chuckle. "Not quite. She tripped over me" A smile crawls on to my face. "She apologized and the-"

I interrupt. "Let me guess, she swooned over your good looks"

He shakes his head and I fake gasp. "She was about to leave actually. I don't know why but I offered to buy her an ice cream"

"She was totally hot wasn't she?"

"How could you think so little of me my friend?"

"So she wasn't?"

"I didn't say that… to be honest I have no idea what she looked like" I crack up laughing. "What?" He sends me an expression, one which I cannot distinguish from a squint and a glare.

"How can you have a girl trip over you yet have no idea what she looks like?" I laugh; the whole concept was so obscure.

"She was wearing a velvet red cloak which not only masked her body but her face as well"

I snicker. "Are you sure you didn't fall asleep during 'red riding hood'?" He rolls his eyes at me. "You really expect me to believe that this girl was fully cloaked in velvet in the middle of summer… on a beach?"

"I know it sounds completely ridiculous but you have to believe me, it really happened. Anyway, she took me up on my offer, we talked a bit more and things kind of just took off… she invited me to a party three days later, but it was a mask party… there she told me it was her last night, so we made the most of the time we had left" I start to open my mouth in question but he cuts me off "Not like that. Seriously get your head out of the sewers… we kissed… again and again"

"Did you ask her to take off her mask?"

"Of course, but she refused, she said it would break the mystery of the moment…"

"Sounds like someone found love"

"No… someone found the pitiful aching afterwards. Now I'll never see her aga-" The boy is cut off.

A sudden noise echoes throughout the air. A loud deafening noise. The noise sounds four more times and that's when I know what it is. _Gun shots._

My heart stops. The shots come from outside… from where Cato should be running…

I push open the door. Athesius's arm wraps around mine. "Clove, no" I shake the hold and sprint towards the unknown. "Cato!" I shout, I need to know if he is safe. Thoughts of the bath incident replay in my mind. The only thing that prevented me from killing myself was Cato. If he is no longer here, nothing will hold me back. I need that reassurance I need that tight hold, the one which prevents me dropping of the side of the world, I need _Cato's_ hold. _Don't let go. Don't let go of me. Please… never let me go._

My feet crash against the ground noisily, I don't hear it though, all I hear is the sound of a racing heart and the distant screams as another bullet is shot. By now, the lockdown bell has sounded, indicating to anyone who has the slightest brain to hide, to lock the doors and cower in fear. The only fear I feel is the dread of losing the boy I love. The screams get closer and before I know it I am looking into the face of the killer. He raises the gun, taking aim at my head. My mouth parts. I know this man. I know this broken soul. His hand tenses around the gun and I can only find the voice for one word.

"Dad…"

(OOC: Guest - I'm sorry for not introducing Peeta yet, I honestly was planning on bringing him in last chapter but I have sudden bursts of inspirations and then find I have over stepped the word limit for the chapter... I promise to introduce him soon! But i'm so glad you are enjoying it so far!

ClovelyCato555- Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like it! It means so much to me when other authors review! I hope this doesn't disappoint you!)

Thanks for reviewing, I wasn't on planning on updating today but I saw both of your reviews and I felt like it was my duty thanks again!)


	4. Better and Worse

**Chapter 4 – Better and Worse**

(ooc: Thanks for the reviews guys!)

Since that fateful day of mother's passing, it's true that things have never been easy. Better? Maybe. But never easy. I had grew to accept this though, I had too. There was no other option. In a world where the slightest change can cause death and despair; the double d's of today's never-changing society, you learn to adapt. You have to. Everything changes, and you will have to be prepared to adapt as quickly as possible, in any condition. You will have to be versatile. It's what leads the world in its quest for symbolic meaning.

A quiet tapping interrupts me from my inner thoughts. Thank God for that. One cannot dwell for too long in acidic memories which would rather be forgotten; they are ravenous and will slowly eat away at all sanity. I make my way too the door and open it. For the first time today I smile.

"Hey Clove" _Athesius._ His light coloured pink lips are instantly recognizable, they have always been a shade lighter than the normal population. Of course his eyes give it away too; such bright red is hard to ignore.

"Athesius, come in" I motion with my hand, waiting for him to take lead before closing the door behind him.

"Well, isn't this… quaint" I laugh. This is the first time he has seen the place, even though Cato and I have lived here for two months already.

"I know… it's a dump. But it's only temporary, so I can't complain" At least I hope.

"Mmm, any idea when you are moving?" He pauses. "Or where to?"

"Well, Cato's stuck with work, but he says as soon as he gets enough money we will move. I'm hoping for a house on a hill, somewhere colourful and full of life" I walk over to the fridge. "Would you like anything to eat?"

"Yes please. Well, there are a few places around here like that, but they are pricy" I motion for him to sit as our small table, to the left of the window. He takes his seat and I continue to raid my fridge for any sort of food.

"True, that's what I'm worried about. I don't really want to be here any longer than I have to. These four walls are driving me mad. I tell him I'm getting a job to help save up but he tells me off. I think he has this whole idea that the men are supposed to be the suppliers and what not. Simple egotistical men…" Athesius laughs. "How does a fresh omelet sound?"

"Mm, sounds good. Well, why don't you go get a job behind his back?" I ponder this idea for a while.

"What if he finds out?" I say, pausing from grabbing the eggs for a split second.

"Who cares? Just say what you told me, how you can't stand to be here no longer" I think away as I beat the eggs. "Oh, and do you want a hand?"

"Well, if you really want to help could you fetch me the milk?"

"Sure thing" Athesius stands up and makes his way to the fridge.

"I think you're right Athesius. I should get a job and it will help me keep my sanity for a little bit longer" He hands me the milk, as I turn on the stove.

"That's my girl" He smiles.

* * *

(Past time)

I can't believe it. Never had I ever thought that my father would ever be holding a gun, let alone aiming it at my head. But then again, I had never thought he would have ever disowned me.

His hand clasps sturdily around the gun, finger prepared to press the trigger.

"Dad… don't. Please" I say, making sure I am audible. Inside, I am scared. Inside, I am breaking down. Inside, I am dead. Yet my voice takes on a placid voice. Despite how I feel it acts normal.

"I can't handle this anymore" He shouts, anguish compressed into his voice. "She is dead, yet everyone can keep on going with their everyday lives like nothing ever happened. Well, now let's see how they deal when someone in their family dies" He points the gun at the bodies surrounding him. I force myself to look. Four bodies; three boys and a girl, lay, with dead eyes and gun wounds in their necks and head. I look over the bodies quickly, unsure of two of the boys. The other boy, I have seen with Cato before. He was one of the jocks. He was the quarterback in our football team. He always had a cocky attitude, what I imagine that years of being at the top of the school would do to you. My eyes flick to the girl: Darcius. She was a skilled archer. The best archer if I do say so myself. She was loved by everyone. She was always nice and compassionate to any poor soul. Nice and pretty; an unusual combination. She had talked to me a little before, and she had taken interest in what I was actually saying, unlike everyone else, besides Cato and Athesius. I never would have imagined her laying here, her blonde hair turned red and blood trickling down her cheek. I can't look any more, my eyes divert back to my assailant. "Now they will feel my pain" His eyes penetrate mine, no matter how hard I try to force them out.

"What do you want with me?" I make out in a strong voice.

"Revenge. You could have stopped her death but no" Fear creeps up inside of me.

"You can still go you know. If you leave now you could get away before the authorities get here. You could escape" I try to negotiate.

"I've already accepted my death. What is there to live for now anyway? Nothing. Goodbye Clove." His finger tenses on the trigger and I close my eyes. **BANG! **My whole body tenses as it prepares itself for the metallic intrusion. Only nothing happens.

"Get off of me!" My father shouts, inviting my eyes to reopen themselves. He is on the ground, gun fallen out of his hand. And on top of him, rests the blonde haired boy: Cato.

"Cato! You're okay!" I fall into the ecstasy of relief. My father is struggling against the boy's power. That's when he flips him over. Cato hits the ground, falling on his back. My father reaches for the gun, but I grab it first and aim it at him. Something I thought would never happen either. He moves and puts Cato into a headlock.

"Go on. Shoot me!" He shouts as his headlock tightens around Cato's neck, cutting his air supply. I point the gun at his face.

"I'm giving you one last chance to leave!" I yell, my voice still holding strong. I really don't want to shoot him. How can I kill my father?

"You don't have it in you to shoot me! You're pathetic!" His headlock is closing in further on his neck. Cato's face is getting red, and he is gasping for air desperately. He is in trouble.

"Let him go now!" I shout, my hand trembling with the gun as adrenaline fills my insides. My father smiles a malevolent grin, as he disobeys my order.

"You can't kill your father can you?" He laughs mockingly.

"You're not my father! My father died inside that train crash with my mother. My father wouldn't kill innocent children just to make their families experience pain. You are no one. Goodbye stranger" His laugh disappears. _This time I am disowning him._ My finger squeezes the trigger and Cato instantly falls to the ground.

"Cato! Are you okay?" I say, as I fall to the ground beside him.

"Yeah… thank you"

"No, you were the one who saved me. Without you he would have shot me" I pause for a moment, as I help Cato get up. "Thank you" His lips curve upward. Sirens start to blare, coming closer and closer. That's when I came to the realization. I had killed my father.

* * *

That day Cato and I had arrived home, accompanied by two police officers. Ms. Douglas opened the door with relief on her face.

"Thank God you both are okay!" She says as she hugs both of us. By now, I have come to accept these types of affection.

"Ms. Douglas, could you please verify the relationship that you and Clove Mason share?" One of the police asked, as the other held a notebook and was ready to write.

"Well, Clove has always been a friend of Cato's. One day he brought her home, and asked if she could stay with us, because her mother had recently passed and her father had kicked her out. So I've been letting her live with us ever since" The officer holding the notebook is scribbling furiously.

"Okay, has miss Mason ever performed a violent act here?" I look up to the officer with confusion on my face. Did he think I was some kind of psychopath or something?

"Absolutely not"

"Any problems with her at all?"

"Nope. She has been amazingly wonderful" I blush slightly at her kind words.

"Are you aware of what happened today?"

"Yes. A man broke into the school armed with a gun"

"Are you aware of the man's relationship with Miss Mason?" She shakes her head, confusion on her face. "The armed man was her father" Ms. Douglas gasps.

"Clove! You poor thing" She wraps her arms around me one more time.

"Ms. Douglas, I think it is vital to inform you that the man was shot in the head by Miss Mason" Her face is contorted into surprise. "It was declared to be self-defense though. According to a witness, this had been watching from a room close Mr. Mason was choking Cato Douglas. The witness had claimed that if she had not shot him, Cato would be dead. You two are very lucky, normally the murderer will get away with a lot more kills" It takes me a moment to realize that the man is talking to Cato and I.

"That will be all. Have a good day" The other officer finally talks before they both leave.

Ms. Douglas waits until the car leaves before she talks.

"Clove, thank you!" She says; eyes teary.

* * *

(Present time)

Night is now upon me and Athesius has left. I think over what tomorrow will bring me. I am going to see if I can get a job. I don't care where or how much but I need the time away. My fingers slide over the smooth yet bumpy surface of the wall. The grey colour paint, an illusion to what lays beneath. These are some reasons, which lead me never to judge by appearance; nothing is as it ever seems. The door creaks open softly, and I know Cato is home. I glance over to the clock: eight-thirty. Something is not right. Cato never comes home this early.

"Cato?" My lips manage, quietly.

"Clove, he's in trouble" He stutters.

"Who, Cato?" The boy makes his way toward me, towering over me with his worry. He is still wearing his white and blue peacekeeper uniform. Usually he comes home in his regular clothes. My insides tense with sickening fear. _He's in trouble… _Who?

"Eucario… he is really sick Clove. The doctors say it could be life-threatening…" The boy trails off. _No, this can't be happening. He is far too young to go through this sort of thing._

"Let's both go see him" I say as I lock my hand around his arm, eliciting comfort for him, and myself.

* * *

It is a long walk, but we finally make it to Ms. Douglas's house. I go to knock on the hard wooden door, but Cato pushes past me and opens it. I am granted vision of the house I have come to know so well, the house which had offered me sanctuary as a girl. Now, I stand before it not as a girl, but a woman. I am stronger inside, despite the worsening of my life. I am now, not so naïve as to believe everything I hear, to believe everything I see, and to know that instinct can be trusted. The hallway, still reminds me of the day I had entered the household, drenched in water and tears. It also reminds me of when I left it, such a bittersweet thing really. My young self, prepared for the independent life which comes with responsibility. Ms. Douglas had told us we could stay as long as we wanted, but both Cato and I knew that we could not impose any longer. We both knew it was time for us to grow wings and fly; together. I will not lie, every day that has passed since that day, has made my longer to be back here only stronger. I can't give into that feel though. I am too old to rely on a woman's motherly loving for any longer. I am seventeen for crying out loud. I need to stand and take the bullets, I need to stand no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much I want to fall and cry; I must stand.

Cato charges toward the stairs, clambering up them three at a time. I follow behind, slower and granted more safely. Though my composure may be sturdy, much like a well-built cabin, but my insides are freezing with pain and sorrow.

Cato flings open Eucario's room door, intruding on, basically everyone. Eucario lies in bead, looking weak and fatigued whilst Ms. Douglas holds his little hand and Acacius stands over him, muttering wishes silently. On the left side of the bed, a man covered in white –presumably a doctor- checks the boy's temperature, applying his hand to the young boy's sweating forehead. The doctor must have cost heaps. I look closer at the ill boy, his body is covered in small red spots.

"Ms. Douglas, I believe your son has septicemia as well as bacterial meningitis. These are serious 7life-threatening illnesses. This combination is usually a cause of listeria. Listeria is food-borne pathogen" Ms. Douglas gasps.

"Food poisoning? No, that can't be. Acacius and I eat everything, that Eucario does, and we are fine"

"Mmhm. How long has he shown sign of illness for?"

"A week and a half"

"Has your son had any of the following: deli meats, hot dogs, refrigerated pates or meatspreads, unpasteurized milk or dairy producats, feta, brie, camembert cheeses, refrigerated smoked seafood or raw seafood?"

"Actually, we did go to a restaurant two weeks ago, and Eucario had ordered a hot dog"

"Well, Ms. Douglas I advise you to stay well away from there. Because he has definite symptoms of listeria"

"How do I treat it?"

"Ms. Douglas, to treat such a life threatening disease you would need antibiotics such as ampicillin and vancomycin… we do not have these antibiotics in District 2. To get them, we would have to order them from the Capitol" I tense. Anything with the words 'from the Capitol' in it, you instantly know will be extremely expensive.

"How much are we looking at?" The silence echoes the tension bouncing off the walls.

"A lot. Ms. Douglas, I'm sorry but I don't think you have enough money"

"How much?!" She shouts, desperation filling her voice. Her mother instincts were in action. She couldn't just let her youngest son die.

"Two hundred thousand" I wince. There was no way she would be able to afford it. I hear that before the nation of Panem was created, we had lived in a nation known as America. I also hear things were much easier back then… and cheaper. But the disaster that had created Panem had wiped out a lot of simple commodities, raising the price on everything.

"I'll sell the house then"

"It would be too late after you had gotten it sold. It would have finished its cycle. I best be on my way. I'm really sorry about everything, but keep giving him the foods I told you and hope for the best" The man gets up and leaves just like that.

* * *

A week has passed since the first day we heard of Eucario's illness. Cato and I have decided to stay at his mother's house, so we could accompany Eucario whenever we could. Cato still has been going to work, only simply because he does not have the money to do otherwise. I sit on the floor in Eucario's room and stare at the boy while he sleeps. His red dots have been getting lighter and his fever is getting better. I press my hand up to his forehead. _Cooler. More normal._ This just leaves one question inside my head. Could it be possible? Could he be recovering? It definitely seems that way. I smile. Perhaps, life isn't always a cruel game built on pain and misery. Eucario has been telling us that he has been feeling better recently, and only now am I actually starting to believe him.

Footsteps echo behind me, causing me to turn to the doorway where a tall blonde emerges. His uniform still clings desperately to his body, he hasn't changed. He is been eager to get back to Eucario as quickly as possible. Its times like these when I wish I hadn't been an only child.

"Cato… he is getting better" I smile genuinely.

"I know, mum told me. But that's not why I'm here" His statement is met by a questioning gaze. "I have great news" The boy pauses, as if adding for effect, building my suspense up as well as my impatience. "We can move!" My eyes widen in delight.

"Really?" I burst out in blithe.

"There's just one catch…" _A catch? What was he talking about? How does moving come with a catch?_ "Well, to be honest we don't' have enough money to actually move…" I arch an eyebrow at the boy. _What was he talking about?_ "But, work has given me an offer to be a part of work placement…"

"Work placement…? Where?" I say, getting less sure of this idea.

"District 12" He finally releases the words into the air. How bitter they taste on my sweet lips. District twelve wasn't exactly renowned for its luxury.

"District twelve?" I repeat, as if to try the words and hope they fit better, only to be disappointed.

"Look, I know it isn't the best place to move to, but you said yourself you wanted to move to the mountains"

"Yeah, that was before I knew they were located in district twelve!"

"Well, we could stay for longer and try to get more money, but it could take another three years…" I shudder. There was no way I could live in that apartment for another three years.

"Okay, but what about your family here?"

"I've talked to mum already; she thinks it's a good idea. She encourages us to do so. She wants us to create our life together. Sure, it'll be sad to leave but I think I need this, I think we need this. And we can always visit back" I contemplate on the concept. Maybe we would be better if we waited for more income. And then move to wherever the hell we want. I shake my head, ridding myself off the negative thoughts. No, I need this. I need something new in my life.

"You know I think you're crazy right?" The boy laughs. "But I'll come along for the ride"

"We'll do this together"

"For better and worse"


	5. A New Experience

**Chapter 5 – A New Experience**

Today was what I was looking for all those days ago. It's hard to believe that today will be the start of an all new independent life for us. Every face we meet after we get there will be new and strange. Sure, District twelve wasn't exactly, where I wanted to live… but now that I think about it, it doesn't matter where we live. As long as we have one another things will be bearable.

I hold my luggage tightly in fear that letting go will result in the bag bursting from the sheer pressure within it. It had taken me a darn good amount of time to squeeze all my clothes into it. I was not going to do it again anytime soon.

The train comes into view and that's when the realness of the whole situation really kicked in. I was really leaving everything I knew behind. It hit me, that I may never see District Two again. I may never see Athesius again with his insurgent look, I may never see Ms. Douglas with her open arms and gentle smiles, nor Eucario with his monkey-see-monkey-do attitude, maybe not even Acacius with his huge surplus of intellect. Cato is standing beside me, but he is holding together. Either he hasn't processed what is happening yet, or he is masking it as he may think showing emotion, or any weakness will emasculate him.

I gently put my luggage down, being extra cautious, before turning around to face the woman who had accepted me into her family. She had Acacius take care of Eucario for a little, just until we departed.

"Goodbye Mum" I say, the word 'mum' no longer feeling foreign inside my clumsy mouth. After the first few months of my stay, she had told me to call her that. I'm not sure whether it is because she longs for a daughter, and having me call her that made it easier to pretend with or that she just wants to show that she really cares for me. Either way, she has become a mother to me.

"Goodbye Clove" She says, her smile a bittersweet taste. She holds out her arms and encases me in them. "You take care of him okay? He really loves you, it's just he gets swamped with work and sometimes forget that you are the only thing that matters in his life" She whispers in my ear.

"Of course" I whisper back, before our arms fall away.

Cato gives her a hug which seems to last forever. Perhaps maybe only now he just processed what's happening.

The train comes to a halt and the doors fling open. We, reluctantly enter the doorway, leaving behind the woman who has cared for us both so much. I am brought back to my senses when I am stopped by a blue uniformed man, no doubt a conductor.

"Tickets please" I reach down into my pocket shaky handily, relieved to see it was still there. Train tickets are extremely expensive, for the Capitol want to limit the amount of people changing District to District; they think people may insinuate a rebellion. Our tickets were free, due to Cato being a Peacekeeper.

I wait for Cato to hand over his ticket before another man leads us to another carriage. Train is seen to be a very luxurious travel type, and it may have something to do with the amount of space you get. Basically, it is a five star hotel on wheels. Our compartment is composed of a lounge room and two bedrooms. I already know that one of the bedrooms will be inactive. The guide disperses and leaves us standing in our temporary lounge room. In one corner a huge purple couch rests facing an even bigger television. In the middle of the room rests a decent sized table, made from what looks like cypress. Chairs reach out from the table, caressing the edge of the wooden majesty. The ground is a carpeted deep blue, matching with the egg-plant purple walls, which are lined with a gold outlining. Various vases monitor the ground holding all sorts of exotic and never before heard of flowers. I'm guessing a lot of them have been manufactured in Capitol labs. The one flower which I recognize is the red rose, but even that has been mutated, the stem is thorn less. _I guess not every rose has its thorn…_

I follow Cato's lead as he walks into the bedroom on the left. It is massive. In the middle of the room rests a king, king sized bed; a bed big enough to hold ten people lying next to one another in. What an obscurity. On the right side of the bed a dresser rests with one of the biggest mirrors I have ever seen, and on the other side the same mirror reflects. On the wall another across from the bed another television is mounted, granted this one is smaller but nonetheless incredibly massive.

Cato dumps his luggage underneath the bed and I take suit. I jump back onto the bed, surprised by its springiness which bounces me halfway to the ceiling.

"Do you think we could just buy a home on this train instead?" I try jokingly.

"If only!" He laughs as he jumps back onto the bed, joining me in my blithe escapade.

* * *

Before I even know it, night is upon us and with night comes dinner time. We sit at our table, across from one another. Standing at the ends of our table are two avoxes. They offer us a menu, which I greedily accept, hunger getting the best of me and taking control of my brain with its wishful bidding.

Unusual names like 'salzburger nockerl' and 'Cullen skink' jump out at me, but instead I try something a little classier –and more well-known-, I decide to try caviar for my first time. Cato bursts out in hysterics when I spit it out running to my bathroom to rinse out my mouth… repeatedly. Turns out I'm not much of a fish eggs fan. For dessert I order a 'whoopie pie' which despite the name is actually two round pieces of chocolate cake with frosting sandwiched in the middle. The taste sends tingles down my spine and into my stomach, where it rejuvenates the sweetness. I am unsure of what Cato orders, as I am far too busy staring delectably at my king fit food.

I don't know how I find it in me, but I finish the whole dessert. Cato seems to as well, as I look over to his plate, vacant of anything beside a few white puddles, _ice cream maybe?_ I lean back, and let myself relax; food seems to have the power to make me lethargic. A pale arm makes it way over my shoulder and grabs my plate. On the other side of the table, another avox grabs Cato's. I jump at the slender wrist. Avoxes are people who have been convicted of severe crimes, and instead of prison or fines their tongue is cut off and they are imprisoned to a life of servitude. I feel terrible for them; I couldn't imagine what life would be like without freedom nor speech. Then again, I would never have to. It's not like I go around committing terrible crimes.

The two avoxes take the plates and disappear. I know they will not be coming back, I just wonder where they disappear to.

"Now… what do you want to do?" Cato says playfully.

"I don't know, there might be something good on television"

"Psh, television? I think I have something better to watch than that…" He says, his eyes training deeply into my eyes. I can feel a slight burning in my cheeks, not the terrible oh-my-god-my-cheek-is-on-fire type but the pleasant tingly one.

He pushes his chair out before standing up. He makes his way around toward me, and embraces me from me behind; his sturdy arms encasing my body, singing sweet lullabies of love and security.

"We've been going out for over a year now, correct?" He says loudly, the words echoing through the walls. I smile, _over a year…_ Over a year of woe, sorrow, disappointment and leaping from one disaster to the next…yet… I regret nothing. Despite all the pain felt, the love he gave me made me so much stronger than the anguish which weakened me.

I nod my head. "And you love me right?"

"Mmm, well I don't think I would go that far…" I laugh, humoring myself.

"But seriously, you do don't you?"

"What a stupid question! You took me into your family in my time of hardship, you rescued me from death and despair and you give me hope. Of course I do" I can almost feel the smile creeping onto his face right now.

"You trust me right?" I sigh at his question.

"Where exactly are you trying to take this?"

"Answer the question" He says in a gentle voice, but demands nevertheless.

"Yes… now will you answer mine?"

"Well, I think we are ready to take this relationship to the next step…" I look up to the boy, the lust inescapable in his eye._ Was I really ready for sex?_ I feel, too young to think about such things, I feel too innocent. I have never had a sexual relationship before; I would probably screw something up and end up with him hating me. The mischievous smile plays well on his face, it reminds me who I am with, everything we have been through and how he would never hate me.

_But I'm still too young..._

_What are you talking about? You have gone basically to hell and back, and you are saying you are too young for a little playful affection?_

_But, but… _

"Okay" This is all I say, but Cato shows it was all he needed as he grasps his hand in mine, pulling me up off my chair.

My heart is pounding like a jackhammer against cement, swiftly and forcefully. I know that Cato will love me no matter what happens, but there is always that tiny nagging voice which tells you otherwise. Right now it is screaming right into my brain. He opens the door slowly, creaking slightly. My breath is jagged and unnatural. He pulls me through the doorway and gently pushes me back against the bed. I can't believe this is happening. One and a half years ago I hadn't even noticed guys; I had thought relationships were for the weak and the oppressed. If someone had told me that one and a half years from now I would be lying on a bed waiting for my lover to take my virginity I would have slapped them in the face. I would have thought 'how dare they talk to me like that' and 'they obviously have no idea who I am'. Yet here I am…

The boy before me stands dominantly over me as he takes his white shirt off casting it aside revealing the treasure which lay underneath. My eyes cannot help but scrutinize his muscle defined eight pack and his sturdy looking pecs.

My skin is tingling, goosebumps covering the entire surface of me; from my toes to my colour fading cheeks. He pushes me down onto the bed further, so I am now lying in his presence with him on top of me, his arms pressed down onto the bed. His lips touch mine ever so softly, parting only for a moment, in which my lips wither at the need of attention. I lean in and make ends meet, only this time, our lips open, his tongue assaulting mine with the sweet flavour of vanilla ice cream.

My mind is whirling out of control, loaded only by thoughts of sexual desire and innocence. Was I ready? Once I lose my virginity I will not be getting it back ever. I can feel his hand slowly unbuttoning my dark blue shirt all the while still pressing his lips tightly against mine. My eyes open only for a moment. I see a flash of blonde hair and blue eyes. I may only ever get to be a virgin once but there is definitely no one I would prefer to lose it to.

The shirt is fully unbuttoned; I lift myself slightly off the bed so he can take it off my arms for me. He throws it aside quickly, eager to get back to me. He bends his head down, back to caressing my lips; back to where they belong. My hands rub up his chiseled torso, feeling every muscle which bulges out, every crease in his skin and every smooth pore. Our lips part, with his only to fall lower, to kiss tightly at my neck, renewing the grasp of my goosebumps.

My hands swap over to his back, feeling him up. I am vaguely aware of him fumbling with his jeans rushing to get them off. Eventually the lust stricken boy manages to remove the layer of clothing encasing his legs. Just like everything else, he throws it aside. His lips trail down my neck and to my chest, just above my bra. His fumbling hands are now put to work on my trousers, unbuttoning them and removing them much faster than his. Now I lay before him, in only underwear and a bra. And him before me in only a pair of tightly-fit white briefs.

His lips still kiss gently against my chest, as he pushes his hands underneath my body as he unhooks my bra. My hands still stroke relentlessly at his back, almost clawing him with anticipation of what comes next. All signs of my reluctant self have resigned from my body.

My bra is finally unhooked and removed, reveling to him my bare breasts. His lips eagerly move down, touching my left nipple. He sucks hard on it. My body tenses in pleasure. He places it between his front teeth and bites on it ever so gently. It is on the border of pleasurable and painful.

He moves down, lips trailing past my breasts and past my stomach, down to my hips, where a thin layer of material is all that separates me from complete nudity. His hands lower the undergarment down to my feet, where I kick it off. My body is now fully exposed to his greedy eyes. Every little inch of me, he can see sprawled out before him. He is the only person alive who has seen me like this. Realizing this makes me blush.

To make it fair I lower his briefs, leaving him just as much exposed as I am. I can now see his package before my eyes. His crotch is covered in thick sandy brown hair. His member protrudes freely through the air at a ninety degree angle as if the laws of gravity do not apply to it. I am tempted to reach out and touch it, when he lowers himself so his head is at my hip level. At first I am unsure of what he is doing, but that's when I feel it. The new demanding enterer. His tongue feels slick, but not too slick that it is slimy and gross. I am left breathless as his tongue works wonders inside of me. It feels so foreign, but so right. "Cato…" I murmur, still gasping for air.

Just when I was thinking that I didn't want this feeling to ever stop, the penetrator retreats, leaving me begging for more. His head moves up higher, lips resting back on my neck only for a moment before joining mine and parting just as quickly. He gives me a mischievous grin, telling me secrets of how that was just an entrée to the main course, before kissing me on the forehead, lightly but slowly. "I love you" He whispers in my ear. _Like a symphony for my heart._

Just as I open my lips to respond, he pushes his pulsing member inside me. The feeling is slightly painful, but all the while so much more pleasurable. My body stiffens underneath him, yet my hands feed hungrily at his back, lowering themselves to his bubble butt, squeezing it tightly. I can feel him pull out, before pushing back in further this time. Beads of sweat are starting to form on my brow, as the feeling of lust and pleasure course throughout my body, as a result warming my body up only more.

"Faster…" I plead quietly. The boy is taking my advice as his pace is changed from a slow peaceful one to an all-out blur. In and out, in and out, over and over again. My body has never felt so tensed or relaxed before. Cato is now starting to sweat, droplets fall onto my lips staining them with the taste of pure pheromones and desire.

His erection, kept going in deeper and deeper every time he pushed himself in, no longer was there any empty space left. Soft cries leave my mouth, exposing themselves to not only mine but Cato's ears. If he wasn't so focused on all this sexual tension he would have smiled dominantly at me smug on the thought. But right now his face shows nothing but the yearning thirst for relief.

Quicker and quicker. Suddenly I let go of everything. I let his love bathe over me as my body convulses with ecstasy, showering me in a beautiful state of euphoria. Amidst this presumptuous state, I can feel Cato burst inside of me. Jets of sticky substance are sent whooshing through me. The feeling only sends me to a higher state of delectation. "Oh Cato!" I moan, never have feeling so alive in my life.

The boy removes his length and falls down beside me, huffing.

"Wow…" He murmurs, breathless.

Realization, of what just happened hits me hard.

"Cato…?" The boy turns so his blue eyes are staring at me.

"Yeah?"

I couldn't believe I had been so stupid. We just had unprotected sex.

"You don't think I'll get pregnant do you?"

* * *

(OOC: Thanks guys for all the reviews! I love you all! =D  
ClovelyCato555 - Yep ;) Sure will be!  
MicrowavedBeaver- You are absolutely awesome. Not only have you reviewed 'hardships of teenage love' but you have reviewed this as well! I LOVE YOU! XD Sorry for the creepiness... And if I can be completely honest to you, I have never been a huge fan of Clato either, but I thought I would try something different from what I think. I'm so glad you are liking it! I only hope it gets better!  
Guest- *Bows in presence of your applauding* Thank you, thank you! I will be here every day! Hehe, i'm so happy you liked it!)


	6. Making a Name

**Chapter 6 – Making a Name**

I couldn't get any sleep last night, despite the fact that the bed I 'slept' on was the most comfortable one I have ever had the pleasure to touch. Thoughts were like wired caffeine, keeping me alert and sleepless all night. Half of them were about the sexual experiences we had… I still couldn't believe we had actually done it. The sensual practice was absolutely amazing. I had never felt anything ever so wonderful in all my life. I was left with goosebumps just thinking about it.

The other half of my thoughts were focused centrally not on what we had done, but what could happen now as a result of it. After all it doesn't take a genius to work out that a man and a woman having sex equals babies. I shiver at the thought. I am not ready to make that plunge. I don't want to be chained down by a child so early. In fact I don't even know if I want a child at all, ever. The first few years of children are horrible, _or so I've gathered._ Crying, screaming and overly attached._ Ick._ Plus, another downside is that giving birth looks so damn painful. So much screaming and crying involved by the mother…

I lay in bed looking at the sleeping angel Cato. His features look so beautiful in rest. I put my hand to his forehead swiping away a stray hair which dangles near his closed eyes. My hand lingers at his cheek as I gently stroke it before pulling it away._ Skin as smooth as milk and honey. _In his sleep his lips curve upward in a gracious smile. I grin at the thought that this boy in front of me was all mine and no one else's.

After ten minutes I decide to get up, and organise myself some breakfast. As I place my hand on the door knob I give the boy one quick glance, as if to make sure he was still there. I smile lightly at him before I walk in to the kitchen/living room, closing the door quietly behind me. My nose is greeted by the fighting scent of freshly cooked pancakes. I lick my lips in anticipation as an avox places the plate on the table for me.

"Is it okay if I eat them on the couch?" My words are met by a smiling nod from the avox. "Thanks" I whisper as I pick up the plate after I lather the commodities in maple syrup.

I sit down on the couch, turning on the television. The room is lit up by flashing colours as it shows an interview between Caesar Flickerman and head gamemaker Seneca Crane. My ears tune in to the words as I turn up the volume. _Wasn't it a little early for games talk? After all we have months before the 75__th__._

"So, Seneca have you got any special plans for the 75th Annual Hunger Games?" Caesar's bright voice questions excitedly.

"Well as you know, this year is a quarter quell... and for these type of things we must always have special plans… at the moment we have just finished the ideas, and deciding on what we want. In fact tomorrow we start construction on the arena" Seneca says as he rubs his famous beard.

"Oh! The arena!" Caesar says with child-like ecstatic. "What can you tell us about the arena? Is it a rainforest? Is it a snow wasteland? Does it have danger around every turn?"

"Well, there's not too much I can say about it except from that this arena will be completely different from any other arena before. The stakes will be raised as we pack in twice as much danger. Trust me, this will definitely be a games you won't want to miss…" _Completely different? Twice as much danger?_ How is that even impossible? There have been seventy four other games before this one… you would think that they would have used up all their ideas by now… and how can it be twice as dangerous? Children are fighting one another to the death in hopes for survival… how can you get more dangerous than that?

I flick the channel and find myself listening to music. A smile creeps up on to my face once I realise what song it is. I can't help but sing along.

"As I move my feet, towards your body I can hear this beat, it fills my head up and gets louder and louder. It fills my head up and gets louder and louder!" Florence and the machine have been one of my favourite bands for as long as I could remember. I have the whole discography and everything.

Hands grab my shoulders, and the sudden scare makes me lose my pitch. I turn around to the assailant, anger on my face meets the dopey grinning face of Cato.

"Scared ya" He prods. I give him what he refers to as 'the death stare'. "I like your singing" I scowl at him, thinking he was taking another cheap shot at me but he just gives me a confused gaze. "I'm not kidding, you actually have a really nice voice, it's a shame your expression doesn't match it" _There was the cheap shot. _I cannot help but laugh though. "You should sing more often…"

"Okay… you give me something to sing about more often and I shall" I wink. "Only if you will join me though in a duet" This time it is Cato who laughs.

"Me, sing? You have got be kidding Clove. I am terrible!"

"Oh come off it, you can't be that bad…" As if to prove a point he starts to 'sing'. But, I think giving it the name singing would be a lie. It was more like a cat being shot in the leg, having the leg come clean off, then that same cat stumbling to the lake and drowning… but just before it drowns it gets ran over. "Wow… that definitely was... something" I say stifling my laughter. After a second or two, I cannot help it anymore, the laughter explodes out of me. "Okay, I'm so sorry but that was the worst thing I have ever heard!" The boy is now glaring at me, but I still can't help it. "Please don't quit your day job!" I am now in hysterics and on the verge of falling to the floor.

* * *

The train has come to a stop. Cato and I have our luggage and are waiting in the first carriage, the one where we had got on. We are the last ones on the train apart from the conductor, the driver and the bunch of avoxes which are nothing but slaves. The door opens and the conductor nods us farewell.

The first steps outside of the door are happy and energetic. We were finally here; we were finally at our new district. The energetic steps stop once I look around. Greeted to me is a barren little town covered in ash and grime. Snow litters the ground, like leftover sauce on a finished plate. There is no colour beside brownish black and white. The contrast disgusted me. I want to go back on the train, back to the multi coloured spectrum, but now as I look back to it, it is already pulling off, leaving me behind.

As if reading my thoughts Cato opens his mouth. "I know it doesn't look like much, but appearances can be deceiving" I swallow his words, hoping to God, that they are true.

"I'll have to take your word for that… where are we staying?"

"Well, I'm guessing we will be asking him" Standing before us is a man in a black suit with a red tie. He is at least six feet tall.

"Cato Douglas?" The man asks, his face covered by long brown hair.

"Yes"

"You start work straight away, let me just take you to where you will both be staying first" The man turns, waving us both to follow. He takes us down a dark street, but to be honest I'm not sure if there isn't one dark street in this district. The place seems almost deserted beside the smoke which comes from the chimneys.

We reach an opening in the claustrophobic street, much like a big intersection, but there are no cars or motorbikes, or any vehicles. Instead, small stalls create a smaller circle inside the middle.

"This is the district's main market. It's known as the Hob" People fill the market much like a small corner store, spacious and cosy. Don't get me wrong, many faces still fill the market, but not enough to make you feel trapped. One girl grabs my attention. She is much younger than the middle aged class here. She looks to be seventeen, at least ten years younger than the youngest person here,_ beside us of course_. Dark brown hair kept in a braid, complimented with greenish-gray eyes. In her hand she carries what looks to be like a small wolf._ She looks familiar._ I can't quite put my finger on where I have seen her before but I know I have. She walks over to a lady who appears to be well into her seventies.

Cato grabs my arm and pulls me along. "You alright Clove?"

"Yeah, sorry just distracted" I shake my head and clear my mind. _On to more important things… it's now time to go find out where I live. _I silently pray that it is not a trash pile. We take a left from the Hob, leaving the market and the familiar girl behind.

We continue walking up the street until I no longer feel trapped between the two walls of buildings on either side. Now, the only thing before me directly is snow.

"Over to your right is the victor's village" The man informs. His words startle me. I had become so used to the silence that I had forgotten I wasn't alone. "Now, you will be staying over to the left, on that hill" He says leading the way. Like loyal puppies we follow the man, lost and unsure of our surroundings.

I look over to the hill as we close in on it. I can see the house now. Well more like the cottage. It is small yet friendly. It is about twice the size of the apartment we had been previously staying in. Two windows covered in frost peek out at us, curious to our existence. The exterior appears to be made out of wood,_ pine maybe? _And is covered in a corroded rust coloured tin roof. But, I do not mind what it looks like on the outside though, I am much more interested on the inside.

The man opens the door for us, handing Cato the key. "We have some furniture in for you already" I walk into the building and instantly shiver. The air was somehow colder inside. I rub my arms up and down furiously, trying to regain some much needed warmth. The door leads us directly to the living room, where a couch rests facing an unlit fireplace made out of rosy red bricks. On the fireplace a cooking pot sits. The left hand side of the room is lined with wooden cupboards and bench tops, and in the very left hand corner is an oven. It looks like it is the only piece of technology in here.

"No chance it is electric?" I say as I poke the oven door.

"The only electricity in this district is the annual reaping video which gets brought in" The man answers. I sigh. _Great, no electricity. Just what I want to hear. _"There are two bedrooms, one on the left and the master on the right. I expect you two will only be using the one?" Cato nods his head. "Okay, well I suggest Mr. Douglas that you put down your luggage in the room and we leave your wife to attend to her new job"

"Oh, she's not my wife, she's my girlfriend, and she doesn't have a job"

"Oh? Well, I suggest she gets one before they are all taken" The man says.

"She isn't looking for one, she doesn't need one, I make enough money for both of us" Cato snaps.

"I'm not trying to be rude, but you won't survive long in district twelve supporting two people off one person's pay"

"We are fine thank you!" He shouts.I suddenly remember back at the apartment, how lonely I had felt being locked up the whole time waiting for Cato to come back. I couldn't go through that all again.

"Well actually, I would kind of be interested in working…" I say coyly. Cato's eyebrow rises in surprise.

"What are you doing Clove? We can manage with my pay!" He whispers harshly into my ear.

"I know, but you can't shelter me from the world. I have to do things as well, it wouldn't be fair on you… and plus I need to get out of the house sometimes" The more the better. I don't want to be in this house for longer than I have to in fear of freezing to death.

"Fine. Have it your way" He snaps at me. "Let's go already" He says to the man who leads him out the door. I know Cato won't be furious at me for long, he never is. He's just annoyed that his authority appeared challenged, and his words to be undermined.

I walk to the fireplace inside the living room. _I think this room could use a little bit of heat to it. _I bend down, my knees touching the frozen floorboards. The fireplace is filled with chopped wood, practically begging to be lit. By the side of the fireplace, a huge stack of chopped firewood lays. That's when I realise I don't have matches.

I let out an exasperated sigh before I go back into the master bedroom and search through Cato's luggage. I pull out his wallet; it is empty beside from a few coins. I scrape the leftover money and pocket it before slipping the wallet back into his suitcase. _Looks like a trip to the Hob_…

Before I leave I put on another layer of clothing, feeling warmer I make my first steps alone in my new District. The snow crunches underneath my feet with every footstep. Each step I take covers my shins up to in snow. _Thank God for long pants. _I retrace the path we took to get here in my head. _To the left of the victors village._ So, that's a right now?

I pass the victor's village, certain that this was the way I had travelled before. That was when I saw her. Again... She was walking toward me now. Alone. Her eyes watched me like a guard dog. _I know I have seen her before… where though?_ My eyes pierce back at her, as I try to put a name to the face. She is now only a few meters away, and I still can't tear my eyes away from hers.

Her lips part and I almost do not hear the words she speaks. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to stare. I just swear I have seen you before… which is impossible since you live in District twelve…" I trail off, still trying to reconstruct my brain from the strained thoughts.

"Oh, you're not from around here?" She raises her eyebrow, both in surprise and suspicion.

"No. I moved today actually…"

"From?" She interrupts.

"Two" Her eyebrow only arches further.

"As in District Two?" I nod. "If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here?"

"My boyfriend dragged me along, he's a peacekeeper" Her whole expression transforms. No longer suspicious, but instead now, she seems neutral.

"Right. Go figure" She mutters beneath her breath. "Just what we need more of around here… well bye" She says, offering a small wave, before continuing to walk.

"Wait" I call out. The girl reluctantly turns to face me. "My names Clove Mason"

"Katniss Everdeen" She says before turning back around. I process the name in my head. _Katniss Everdeen._ Where had I heard that name from?

I force myself to turn back around, facing the grimy streets of the District. Reluctantly, I force myself on them.

After a few minutes of walking I find myself back at the Hob. There are now half as many people as there was before. _It must be around closing time._ I walk around the circle of stalls, hoping to find someone who might sell matches. I walk past the first stall, it is selling clothing and similar materials._ Nothing I need from there…_ The second stall contains bits of fruit and vegetables. _Nope, not there either. _

I keep walking until I find myself standing in front of the elderly woman's store. The same woman I had seen Katniss trade to.

"Well… I haven't seen you around here before" It takes me a moment to realise that the woman is talking to me. "The name's Sae, but everyone calls me Greasy Sae" She gives me a light hearted smile. In return I do not scowl at the nickname. She offers her hand out to me.

"Clove" I say as I clasp the wrinkled hand and shake.

"What a lovely name. Can I offer you in a beef stew or a cup of tea?" I lick my lips in the mentioning of tea.

"How much for the tea?" I say, as I reach to my pocket.

"For you free, first time is on me" She says as she hands me a cup of hot tea, accompanied by another kind smile. I return the favour with an appreciative smile.

"Thank you so much" I sip at the cup.

"I will need that cup back though darling" I nod as I continue to sip away at the warm liquid.

"Would you happen to know where I can buy matches from?" I say before I drain the last few droplets and hand her the cup.

"Four stalls down dear, good luck with the moving in"

"Thanks" _Wait a second… how did she know I was new?_ My eyebrows rise. I go to open my mouth in question but she responds first.

"It's all in your voice. You've got quite the accent dear" She laughs lightly. I smile; I had never thought I had even had an accent.

"Really? Huh." I pause for a moment. "Oh, you wouldn't happen to know where I could get work do you?"

"Well, actually I do. There is one place that I am aware of that is looking to hire... it's a little bakery just around the corner. It's called 'Mellark's Bakery', can't miss it. Good luck!"

"Wow thank you so much!" I wave her goodbye as I walk down four stalls to a survival stall. It contains, rope, canteens, gas lanterns,_ matches_, and other essential things if I was stranded in the jungle. The man behind the stall stares at me with glassy eyes, prickly stubble and short black hair.

"Hello, how much are the matches?" I say signaling to the small matchboxes.

"One piece" My eyes widen._ One piece?_ "If you don't like the price go without" He snaps.

"Oh no, sorry it's not that. It's just that back from where I come from matches cost at least six pieces" I say as I grab a coin from my pocket.

"Well you must come from a long way away" I give him the coin and he hands me the small box which I deposit into my pocket.

"Mmm, thanks" I say before I leave. Greasy Sae's words come back to me. _Just around the corner. Mellark Bakery. Can't miss it. _

I trudge around the corner, uncertain as to whether this is a good idea or not. _It is my first day here, maybe I should give it a few more days before I go for a job._

_Stop being such a coward. Just do it now._ Reluctantly I take the advice. I turn the corner and am greeted by another dark little street. The colour was rapidly starting to depress me. I look along both sides of the street, desperately searching for any sign of a bakery, but find none. _Maybe it's the wrong street…_

That's when I see a door open. A tall man steps out holding a muffin and walks by me. _A muffin… the bakery!_ I rush over to the now closing door, just in time to grab the door knob before it closes. A small bell rings as I enter the store, the scent of baked goods assaulting my nostrils.

Two glass cases hold pastries, cakes, muffins, tarts and everything in between. In the left hand corner the counter rests unseen by a cashier.

"Hello?" I call out. "Anyone here?" Silence meets my ears for only a second before I hear a response from the back room.

"Sorry! I'll be there in a moment" The voice is followed by a loud thud.

"Are you okay?" I yell back, concerned.

"Yeah" My eyes turn to the door which leads to the back. A man walks out, who looks to be my age. His short blonde hair tousled. He wears a white apron covered in flour. "Sorry about that, just bringing in today's order of flour" He says as he strides over to the glass case where I am behind. "So what can I get you?"

"Well, actually I heard you were looking for workers?" His blue eyes look up to meet mine a smile plastered on his face.

"Worker actually" He corrects. "Work has been getting too busy for just myself to carry on with but I only have enough money to hire one person"

"You run this all by yourself?" I ask awe struck.

"Well, it was originally a family business… but due to unfortunate events it is now only ran by me. So you're interested?"

"Yes, what do you need to know?"

"Well, my name's Peeta Mellark and yours is?"

"Clove Mason" The boy extends his hand out to me and I shake it.

"Seven-thirty tomorrow morning" He says as he retreats his hand.

"That's all you need to know? Don't you need to know about previous work and contact my previous employers?" The boy laughs.

"You're not from around here are you?" I smile and shake my head before looking down to my now ghost white hand. Peeta follows my line of sight. "Oh… woops, sorry about that. Flour is one messy thing. I'm just glad it comes off easy" He laughs as he wipes his hands on his apron. "I'm going to guess I will be getting to know you a lot more tomorrow"

"Yeah, I guess so. I'll see you then" I say as I turn around toward the door.

"Bye" He calls.

I let the door close behind me. I was already in love with this place. The people seem so nice, so different from district two… I wipe off the flour on my hand, all the time beaming with joy. _I've got a job._

I'm finally making a name for myself.

* * *

(OOC: Thanks for reading! The song Clove was singing was 'Drumming Song' by Florence and the machine, if you have time I suggest you check it out! An amazing song!  
Catostrophic-Cloverfields - I'm so glad you are liking this! I love it when people like you review, it's so awesome =D  
Clovelycato555- That is awesome, thank you! It means a lot to me when people review on smutty chapters, because I know i'm not the most experienced writer with those type of things, so it makes me feel as if they are getting better =) Hehe  
AnnaMellark- Wow! I haven't heard from you in ages! I like literally thought you had dropped of the surface of the Earth! I was so worried! And aww no problem! I'm sorry it's taken so long to get to Peeta, I've just been trying to work on a backstory for her. I'm so glad you are loving it! I hope my future chapters don't disappoint!)


	7. My Independent Life

**Chapter 7 – My Independent Life**

I walk into my new house with a smile plastered on to my face. Life for me seemed like it was finally starting. I no longer have to rely on only Cato's pay to support us both, I can finally begin to pull my own.

"Cato!" I shout, my grin still lopsided with the sign of independence. Eagerness has fully consumed me. I _need_ to tell him the news. A moment passes before I realise he is probably still at work. I keep forgetting that just because we changed districts didn't mean we had also changed working times. I open my mouth to let out an exasperated sigh, but it never reaches the air.

"Clove, I'm in here" Disappointment fades and avidness fills me again. I don't even bother to take off my shoes as I locate the voice, and as a result a trail of melted snow lines the floor.

I find the handsome young boy tending to the stove, back facing me.

"You're home late" He says in a more so surprised than angry.

"Mmm, and you're home early" I say, just as surprised.

"They let me have an early night, they want to give me some time to settle back into my new house"

"Really? Because from what I saw earlier it seemed they were pretty keen on you working…"

"They had a domestic disturbance they wanted me to check out… so what's your reason?" I smile. He just gave me the perfect opportunity for the good news.

"Well… I went out for matches an-"

"Thank you, I had to start a spark the old fashioned way, do you have an idea how long that takes?" He interrupts. I throw him the box of matches and laugh when he misses.

"Anyway, as I was saying… I went out for a box of matches and now I have a job" His face tells of shock, and his eyes speak of disappointment. "I know you don't like it, but you have to let me help with the money, it's not right for me to sit here all day while you're out in the cold making money. I can't always be stuck relying on you the whole time" The boy sighs.

"I'm sorry you're right, I guess I just wanted to care for you like that..." He trails off his eyes turning toward the ground in solace.

"You can't always protect me from the world Cato. I'm only two months younger than you; I need to do things as well"

"I know. I'm sorry… so you're now working at the match store?" I widen my eyes at him.

"What?"

"Well, you said you went out for matches and came back with a job…" He laughs lightly.

"Ha-ha. Very funny. No, I'm working at a bakery just around the corner from the Hob"

"So you're a baker now hey? I never knew you were much of a dessert cooker"

"I'm not… but I will be" I grin mischievously at him. "So what's for dinner then?" I say pointing to the oven.

"I thought we would have something special… to celebrate our new life together. I've made us roasted lamb with the works, potato and all" I wrap my arms around the boy,

"That's so sweet of you" My lips kiss his in appreciation. "How long do we have?"

"About thirty minutes… anything you want to do?" He whispers playfully.

"I could think of a few things…" I flirt, desire building up inside of me. It seems that last night was all it took to bring out the other side of me. "But first, do you have protection?" The words sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, they slice through the air dangerously, ruining whatever moment we had tried to create. The boy's grin disappears and is replaced by a blank face complimented with an arched eyebrow.

"Protection? Since when are we caring about that? We didn't last night" He says as he wraps his hands around my waist and starts to lightly caress my neck.

"I know, but I don't want to risk it" His lips part for a moment as he speaks.

"Why not? I love you, you love me, is it so wrong to have a child?" His lips press back against my now goosebumped covered skin. Reluctantly I push away his head. I'm not sure how much longer I could have stood his advances and not have fallen to him in want.

"Cato, I'm seventeen, I don't want to have a child so young" He sighs before backing off.

"Clove, I don't have protection" My mind raced. I knew I was going to have to make a decision. I could cure my lust, or I could cure my fear. ]

"I don't want to have sex again until its safe" I say reluctantly. I knew that inside it was going to kill me to have been be introduced to something so breathtaking only a night ago, and then to be have it taken off of me so harshly.

"Fine" He mutters as he turns back around to the oven. I feel frustrated and turned against. I take a step away from him, and another step toward our room.

Inside our room I search through my luggage, which I haven't quite gotten around to putting away and grab out my iPod – an updated music player based on a 2000's invention that spread like an infection. I have spent a lot of time listening away my sorrows with this baby. Just seeing the orange texture again my hand, and in my control calms me. I plug in my headphones before falling back against the covers. Lyrics from Florence and the Machine's song 'Between two lungs' serenades me to sleep.

The feeling of my foot being tugged brings me back to the conscious world.

"Dinner's ready Clove" He says as he walks out the door. Groggily, I push myself to my feet and open the door. My jaw drops once the other side of the door is revealed to me. Candlelight illuminates the table, and projects dancing demons onto the loosely placed roses which line the table.

"Wow" I say speechless, as I take a seat at the table. In front of me rests a platter of roast goodies: lamb, potatoes, vegetables and everything. "This is amazing Cato" My eyes meet his as he sits across from me. The alluring scent of lamb meets my nostrils, caressing it.

"I'm glad you like it. I even bought us some wine" He says motioning to the glass of crimson in front of my plate" I look at it strangely, as if it is an infectious mosquito. No alcohol has ever passed my pale pink lips before. Sure I have thought about it before but not seriously. Cato sees my expression. "What's wrong?"

"I've never had alcohol before…" I admit.

"Just have a little try, if you don't like it you don't have to drink it, I just thought that having wine for the first night of our independent lives would symbolise our maturity and just how far we've come to get this. We are seventeen anyway, it's not like we're children anymore"

"Yeah, you're right" My fingers slips around the cool glass.

"Cheers" He says as he brings his glass toward me.

"Cheers" I say as I cling the glasses together gently. I take Cato's lead and bring the glass to my lips, sipping in the crimson liquid. The aromatic scent is a mixture of berry and oak. The soft sweetness attacks my tongue, tantalizing it with its crisp feel. I place the glass back against the wooden table, picking up my knife and fork, eager for the taste of meat.

I finish my meal and look back to the rather filled glass. It's glass body and sweet callings, mocking me, whispering lullabies into my ears. Against my will my hand finds its way back to the glass, together they fit like two lost pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Sips turn into gulps and gulps into sculls. Before long, the glass is empty and instead of the deep garnet shade of red my reflection stares back at me, distorted from the gentle curve of the glass.

My eyes look back up to meet the staring ones of Cato.

"You might want to be careful how you drink that" He says calmly, a smug smile printed onto his face.

"Mm, I've never had anything like this before. It's great. Do you think I could have another glass?" I ask.

"It's probably best that you don't" He says as he gets up and grabs my glass and my plate as well as his. "You don't want to get drunk"

"Maybe I do" I smirk playfully.

"No, you don't" He answers back, placing the dishes carefully into the small sink. The idea of not being able to have it made it seem even more desirable to me. "Not tonight, I want you to remember every moment of today as great, not having to wake up and wonder what happened" He walks toward the bedroom door. "Come join me" He says seductively.

"I thought I made it clear that I wasn't going to have any more unprotected sex?" I sigh, annoyed at the boy's ignorance.

"What, you think sex is all I want? Clove, how condescending of you" He laughs. "I just thought we could snuggle a little?" I have to try to hide my laughter. The word 'snuggle' just seems so foreign coming out of Cato's mouth.

"Snuggling? You mean like foreplay for sex?" I laugh.

"Fine… without the sex" He whines. I snicker. It was definitely obvious that he was a sex addict. I can't say that I'm not though, I have been thinking about it all day. I just know how to control it, it seems. I get up and follow the handsome boy to the bedroom.

"What about the dishes?" I ask as he closes the door behind us.

"I'll do them tomorrow before I leave" I smile at that. Ever since we have arrived he has been so thoughtful, _except about sex_…

I lay down, feeling the fabric of the bed engulf me as I slide under the layers and layers of blankets. My eyes peer out from the bed, looking like what I imagine a butterfly poking its head out of the cocoon to be like.

Cato undresses himself, ridding himself of his shirt and pants, leaving his body completely exposed to me beside from his underwear and socks.

"Cato? What are you doing?"

"I can't sleep with my clothes on"

"Since when?" I question, my mind never remembering a time in the unit when he had been pant-less.

"Since now" He smirks.

"But, it's like a million degrees below zero!" He laughs before he climbs in, joining me in my cocoon. His hands wrap around my back, and his face breathes hot heavy air onto my cold face. I curse inside my mind. He was really making it hard for me to be ridden of lust. Fearful of what I may do in time I kiss him goodnight and turn away, closing my eyes.

"Clove, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired. Goodnight" I fear for a moment that he will hinder me with more questions but he doesn't. Instead he just wraps his arms around me and breathes on my neck. In the secure position he has given me it doesn't take me long to fall victim to the effect of sleep…

* * *

My eyes flick over to see Cato clambering out of bed, with just as little clothing as he had on before we had went to bed. His eyes meet mine and smile.

"Have a nice sleep?"

"Yeah sure, beside the part of you spooning me lightly all night" I laugh.

"You loved it" He remarks arrogantly. I grin back at the smug boy.

"I think I would prefer the real thing" I say playfully. "Think you can pick up some protection?"

"I can't, I have to work right through, I won't be able to get down to the hob" A silence fills the air. "Think you could get it for me?" I open my mouth in shock.

"What?! That'd be like you getting tampons!" I protest.

"Well, in that case we'd have to wait until my first holiday before I can get it… I have a lot of full days of work" I sigh.

"Fine…" I whine. "I'll get it"

"Thanks Clove" He says with a huge smirk forming on his face. "I'll put the money on the dresser. Say, what time do you need to leave at?"

"Seven-thirty is when I start… why what time is it?" I say, dread knotting my stomach. I couldn't be late for the first time working, what kind of impression would that leave?

"Don't worry you still got an hour" My stomach unknots and relief fills my mind. I sink back into my warm covers and my eyes close. "Fuck, that is if I remembered to change my watch when we left the time zone…" He says as he rushes to get his clothes on. "In which case, it may be seven thirty already"

My eyelids flick over instantaneously. _That means that I am late!_ I curse under my breath as I quickly undress and put on my good clothes. "Bye Clove!" Cato shouts as he hurriedly runs out the door. I glance into the mirror and grind my teeth in frustration. My bed hair laughs back at me mockingly. In an angered rush I quickly brush my hair and splash my face with water, waking me up and getting rid of the pieces of sleep which clung to the very corners of my eyes.

I leave the bedroom and suddenly remember about the money on the dresser. Quickly, I turn back and stomp into the room before pocketing the money. I swiftly put on my jacket before charging out into the cold abyss. Cool winds and small snowflakes greet me as I rush through the ankle deep snow along with the distanced figure with the dark brown hair, _Katniss_. My eyes watch her for a moment as she walks off the opposite direction from where i'm mind is about to ask her where I have seen her before but is gracefully pushed aside by a much more serious thought: _I'm late… late for my first day of work._ Somehow inspired by the horror, my pace quickens, speeding me to the snow lined streets of District twelve.

I take notice of the lighted windows and the restless silhouettes behind them rushing about as if it was Christmas morning. This must be a normal waking time for the people here. How horrifying. Chimney smoke fills the passing way like water in a pond. I would be reveling in the scent if I wasn't coughing my lungs up from it.

I reach the Hob, where I take my first breath of fresh air. A few stalls are setting up right now, including the elderly woman I had met the first day. She sees me and smiles kindly at me which I respond to a short-lived wave, my legs not allowing me time to slow down and converse. I turn the corner and make my way down the similar street, making sure not to run past the bakery. I look down to my wrist, as if spectating an imaginary watch. If I had one I imagine the big hand wouldn't be far of the hour. I bring my hand up to the ash covered door and push the handle. _Locked._ Determined to not be later than half an hour I pound against the glass in a merciless rhythm.

Peeta's light blonde hair comes into sight as he staggers past the counter to the door. With a twist of a hand he accomplishes what I couldn't do, no matter how much will I possessed.

"Clove? What are you doing here so early?" I open my mouth as if trying to process the words he was saying.

"Early?" I repeat, stunned and completely out of it.

"Yeah, it's six o' clock…" My mouth widens, my face reflecting the ignorance I feel inside. _I'm going to kill Cato when I get home…_ "Gotcha!" He says, as the boy falls, bursting into hysterics. "You should have seen your face!" My face blushes. Half of me feels like killing him and the other half wants to join in on the joke with him. The latter wins as a dry laugh leaves my throat.

"You had me scared to death" I laugh. "So what time is it? The real one preferably"

"Seven, you're still early but you're welcome to start now if you want?"

"Do you have a fire?"

"Yes"

"Well then, in that case yes" I smile, as I take a step into the room and instantly find relief in the warm air which envelops me.

"Can I interest you in a cup of tea?" My eyes widen with want.

"Yes please" I say as I stand by the fire and rub my hands furiously. A few moments pass before a creaking of floorboards symbolise his return. I turn around to face the boy as he hands me a cup of tea. My hands find mercy in the warmth of the mug.

"So, have you ever worked in a bakery before?" He asks, more out of curiosity than structure.

"Can I be completely honest with you?" The boy nods slightly, as he sips at his mug. "I have never worked a day in my life before and have no experience what so ever in baking" I prepare myself for the harsh reply and wince as his lips move. The only thing I am greeted by though is a long chuckle.

"Well, now's a good as time as ever to learn" His smile seems so genuine that it makes me want to smile with him. "You don't have to worry; I will walk you through everything. I will treat you like a one year old taking their first steps"

"Hmm, I don't know whether to be offended that you compared me to a newborn or flattered that you are willing to keep such a strong eye on me" I deride.

"Whatever makes you sleep at night" He laughs before signaling for me to follow him. "I'll show you the back of the store, where we will be working for most of the time" I follow the boy back past the rustic counter and fogged glass, with only one thought on my mind. _This was going to be interesting…_If only one thing was certain at this time being, it was that work seemed to not be too bad. The sky wasn't crumbling down on me, the pressure wasn't smothering me and his friendly face seemed to make every worried thought disintegrate right in front of my own eyes. I couldn't help but fail to suppress the slowly creepy smile which itched at my face.

This was my first day at work. This was going to be something I remembered for the rest of my life.

* * *

(OOC: Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I'm sorry for the delay in getting it up, but I have just returned to school and am now undertaking year eleven so things are getting hectic... but I shall try to find the time to write and post! If you're getting impatient in waiting, try my other story '**Hardships of Teenage Love**' It's got a load of crack pairings and takes place in the seventy fourth games in definite AU!  
AnnaMellark- I know you changed your name :) I noticed when I looked back and saw your reviews were now under 'MustacheGirl' instead of AnnaMellark ;) But the last time I had hear from you was when I was up to chapter 12 in harships of teenage love, so it's felt like a long time haha. Aww thats so sweet! I shall carry on! For people like you :)  
Celeste - All shall be revealed in time my friend :D  
Catostrophic-Cloverfields- Hehe, I'm glad he came off like that :) And let me just say I love your username ;)  
MicrowavedBeaver- Awww shanks!)


	8. Ascents and Descents

(OOC: I'm so sorry for the wait! I know it has literally been ages since my last update, so please forgive me! But here is the next chapter!)

**Chapter 8 – Ascents and Descents**

"Well, this is where you will be working…" I look around excited to see my work quarters for the first time. The room is just wide enough that if I were to lay down, so that my feet touched one wall, my fingertips would graze the opposite one. On either side of me are counters, which create a narrow pathway through the back room, until it reaches a small wooden door. "I know it's not much, but it's kept my family going for a long time." I recall him mentioning his family before, saying that they had been in an unfortunate incident. I am about to open my mouth to ask, when my polite side kicks in scolding me for preparing to ask such personal questions.

"I think it's cosy." I say, only telling half the truth. Above the counters on both sides is a strip of cupboards which run down for as long as the room goes. I swipe my fingers across the smooth wooden benches.

"That is mahogany." He states, matter-of-factly. I nod my head in appreciation. I hadn't seen any mahogany trees around here so far, must have come from the inner woods.

"Must have cost a buck load…"

"I don't know, my great grandparents got it, when they ran the store." My eyes shift away from the old looking wood and toward the pile of bricks in the right hand corner. Peeta sees my gaze. "That's an oven. It makes really good bread." He walks over to it, signaling for me to get a better look. _An oven? It's made out of bricks!_ Inside the 'oven' rests an ash worn rack, and underneath it lay embers which have been long dead. "You put what you want to cook on the rack, and then have the fire underneath it running." I nod my head.

"So you don't have a modernish stove? Not even a gas one?" Peeta laughs.

"What you're not keen on leaving behind technology? Well you definitely should have thought about that before you came to district twelve… but nah, we have one. Bread just tastes a heck of a lot better cooked over a fire." He points behind me. "See?" I turn around to face an ashen black stove. The stove makes out one back at home look futuristic.

"Well I suppose that's better than nothing." Peeta grins.

"You'll get used to it… so are you ready to cook?" This time I laugh.

"Well I'm ready to _try_."

"That's the spirit!" He semi-jokes. I smile at the boy, ever since I met him he has always been smiling and carrying an enthusiastic attitude with him. It's such a nice change from the depressing ones I'm usually faced with. "So first things first. Let's start off with making a simple bread…" He reaches up and opens a cupboard, bringing down brown sugar, yeast and flour. "Clove, could you grab the milk and water from the fridge please? It's out the front."

"Yep." I walk out the front and just behind the register is a small brown refrigerator. My hand wraps around the cool door handle before tugging it open. Inside I find the milk and water behind a carton of eggs. I bring the ingredients back, placing them before Peeta. "Okay now what?"

"Firstly, we mix the water and milk together." He grabs out a bowl from the cupboard before him, placing it gently on the kitchen bench along with a measuring jug. "Eight ounces milk, eight ounces water." I cautiously pick up the bottle of milk, and pour it into the jug slowly. My eyes freeze on it, as they watch the level rise. _Eight ounces._ I put the bottle of milk down and pick up the bottle of water, cautiously adding it to the milk. "Okay, now we sprinkle four teaspoons of yeast over the top." He leans over my arms, with a container of yeast and a small spoon. His skin radiates the scent of freshly cooked bread. I am half focusing on him spooning the mixture over the top of the jug, and half stealing glances at his face close to mine. His cheeks look soft and smooth, tempting me to slide my fingers across it. On his forehead, sticking out from his fringe is the end of a small white scar. I am about to ask how he got it, when his lips open.

"Now for the sugar. We add one tablespoon. Here," He says passing the sugar and the spoon to me. "you do it." I add a spoonful of the grainy brown substance. "Good, now the flour." He grabs a measuring cup from another cupboard and a bag of flour, placing it before me.

The clatter of a bell rings through my ears. "I'll be right back, if you want to put four and a half ounces into the jug and stir it until it's all wet that'd be good."

"Sure. It can't be that hard." He sends me a short-lived smile before his footsteps retreat into the front of the shop. I hear a faint 'hello' as he greets a customer. I look over to the bag of flour. My hands reach out to tug at the bag's top, attempting to open it. I frown as it fails. This time I exert more force, pulling at the ends of the bag violently. The bag gives in, tearing in half, clouding me in a mist of white. _Well this is great…_

I look down to the ground to see the once brown floorboards a ghostly white. I curse under my breath. _I'm going to get fired from my first day at work…_ I search the room for a dustpan and brush, finding one underneath the brick oven. I crawl on the ground, sweeping pedantically at the sordid ground. Once sated, by my efforts I pull myself up off the ground. Holding the dustpan and brush in one hand I make my way to the front of the shop, bracing myself for the worst. Well, not the worst, because I am genuinely taken off guard when Peeta turns the corner at the same time I do… we hit collide, hitting each other head on, my hand which carried the dustpan fumbled and sent the flour shooting out… directly at his face.

His mouth is agape, no doubt in shock.

"Oh my God, Peeta I'm so sorry." His hands move up to his face, where they wipe away the flour around his eyes. Once they open, their inarticulate stare meets me. And for a moment we stand in ambivalence. Once his lips open, a laugh escapes. It's one of those laughs where you have no choice but to join in, the infectiousness of it is uncontainable. Before I know it, I am laughing, now that I think about it the situation is kind of humorous.

His hand points up to me, as his body folds in half from laughter. "You look like a ghost that's just seen slenderman!" He teases, beneath a layer of mirth which bubbles his words, making them almost impossible to hear. My hands go up to my face, remembering that I had never cleaned my face of the flour.

"You look like a blonde llama that just gave birth!" I retort, my voice now truly one with my laugh. His eyes, full of alacrity look up at me from his crumpled position.

"Really? A blonde llama that just gave birth? Now my childhood dreams are complete." I cannot help but fall to the ground with tears of hilarity filling my eyes.

* * *

After we had cleaned ourselves up, we finished the bread, and I swept the ground… again, ridding it of the flour… again.

Peeta started to work on cupcakes. I look over my shoulder back at him, his hands firmly but carefully opening a bag of flour. _He'll have to teach me how to do that._ I empty the dustpan into the small bin at the corner of the room, after convincing Peeta that the bin should be in the back of the shop. After what happened before, he was definitely not one to argue. I walk over to him, watching his hand as it stirs furiously. The familiar clatter of the bell occurs again and Peeta hands me the spoon, as he makes his way to the front room.

My hand imitates the movements of Peeta's, the yellowy mixture swirling with each spin of my hand. I'm not exactly sure what he wants me to do after, so I just keep stirring.

"Hey Peeta." I hear. The voice sounds familiar. I put the spoon in bowl and poke my head around the corner. The first thing I see is the ash covered windows, coated with months upon months of coal residue, build up into one big clump. In front of the window stands the familiar figure of the girl previously met: Katniss. Next to her stands a smaller girl, blonde and of fair complexion, her eyes a bright blue amongst the dark surroundings. The two girls couldn't look more different.

"Hey Katniss and Prim, how have you both been?" The enthusiasm in his voice is more than evident. It's almost like he is a dam, containing the world's enthusiasm, the walls too short to retain all of it, now waves upon waves are cascading down the sides with every word.

"Alright, how's business?" Katniss replies, almost indifferently.

"Oh, it's been alright… I got a new worker." He turns around, casting his glance onto me. I suppress the blush forming on my face from being caught red handed. Awkwardly I step out, so I am beside Peeta at the cash register.

"I see. Rather peculiar to see a fancy district two person working." Her eyebrow is arched as if she is scrutinizing me. I almost have to turn away at the feel of it, but instead of backing down I stand up. I don't have to feel intimidated to this poor girl.

"Pardon?" My eyes glance at Peeta quickly, whose enthusiasm seems to have evaporated, leaving him empty.

"Well, I kind of expected you to stay at home like one of those helpless dogs I hear the capitol carry around in their handbags, riding on others work, never really having a meaning to their life. But, then again I wouldn't consider being a peacekeeper 'work'." My mouth involuntarily falls open. _Who does she think she is to talk about not only me but Cato like that?!_

"Excuse me? Did I do something wrong to you ever?"

"I'm just saying that oppressing innocents at the rule of the Capitol isn't exactly… good, or showing a work ethic. In fact it's kind of despicable." Her words are the thorn to my rose. Though the flower is imperfect itself, it is beautiful nonetheless, or at least it was until the stabbing pain of the thorn was felt, piercing through one's skin.

"How is he oppressing innocents? All he is doing is keeping everyone from committing crimes! Without peacekeepers our lives would be chaotic and filled of anarchy." She laughs at me. Her laugh is scornful and filled of satire.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand; after all you are a pretentious district two-er." Anger floods my veins.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Seriously, who are you to tell me what's wrong and what's right?! You are a hunter."

"What, you don't eat meat? Someone has to kill them to give food to everyone el-"

"Stop, both of you!" Peeta shouts interrupting. I turn from the girl and look to Peeta. "Now, Katniss what would you like?"

"Which one do you want Prim?" She says to the blonde haired girl whose head only just reaches her shoulders. The frail girl points to a beautifully iced pink cupcake with sprinkles. In response Peeta bags it swiftly and hands it down to her. "How much is that?"

"Three pieces." Katniss reaches down into her pocket revealing a small brown sachet. From it she picks up six pieces and drops it on the counter. _And she calls me pretentious, yet here she is throwing her money around like a ragdoll. _I have to bite my tongue in order not to comment. "You don't have to donate to me."

"I know, but I don't have a use for it, I'm just sent plenty among plenty these days, and I figure why not spend it on local businesses to maintain their survival?" _They send her money? Who?_

"Well, thanks I appreciate it." Peeta grabs the coins, and deposits them in the register.

"I'll catch you later Peeta." I notice that she does not bother to give me the smallest glance of recognition before she slides out of the door with the blonde haired, blue eyed girl.

* * *

The rest of the day is slow and is less cheerful. Peeta seems to be in deep thought for the whole time, but whenever I ask him he dismisses it. After my third attempt to start a conversation I give up and just focus on the baking. Only a few more people wander in the store but they definitely don't walk back empty handed. One man buys a whole box of cookies and another woman walks out with four loaves of bread.

As time passes, Peeta locks the front door. _Closing time it seems._

"Would you mind cleaning up back there Clove?" He shouts from the front.

"Yeah, can do." I call back, as I start to fill the small cement sink with bubbly water. I hear the clatter of money from the front and assume he is counting the profit. My greasy hands grab at the cloth which floats on top of the lukewarm water. Dish by dish I scrub, until the pile completely dwindles and I am left with nothing.

I put away the ingredients left on the counter, wipe down the benches and sweep the floor… for the umpteenth time. I smile at the cleanliness of the room. It screams 'spotless'. I wander out to the front where Peeta is locking the register.

"Here's your pay for the day." He reaches out and hands me twenty-two gold pieces.

"Thanks." I say as I place the money into my pocket.

"Works the same time tomorrow, I'll see you then." I nod and wave goodbye as I walk out the door. I can tell he is still distracted. He has been ever since Katniss picked a fight with me. I scowl at the thought of her. Why does she think she is so superior to me_?_ _She's not. She's nothing but a no good, idiot who goes around judging people, who-_ my thoughts are interrupted by the solid impact of someone. I stumble backwards and look up at a straight blonde haired girl.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I apologise to her.

"It's okay. I don't think I have seen you around before. My name is Madge." She is wearing a pair of light blue jeans and an unflattering brown overcoat.

"Yeah, I just moved here. I'm Clove." A cloud of silence covers over us and for a moment we are just staring at one another.

"Well, it's nice to meet you. I have to get back home before my dad wonders where I am." She turns and as she does her blonde hair seems to glide through the air, as if it was in water. Her physique is small in structure but tall in stature. She reminds me of a doll I had once owned as a child, her cheeks with just the right amount of natural blush and her eyes such a deep blue that they almost look artificially made.

The rest of my journey home is silent, and not met by any distractions besides from the cold snow, finding a way to seep into my shoes. Once I reach the cottage I make a beeline to the fireplace in an attempt to start it. That's when I realise it has already been started, and sitting on the couch by it is Cato.

"Hey, you're home early." I say looking out the window at the fleeting daylight. No response. The only sound is the crackling of the fire as the incandescent flames fight over one another, desperate to eat at the remaining source of firewood. The walls sync to the flickering orangey-red colour. My heart stops beating. This is too much alike that awful morning when I awoke to the flames on my TV. "Cato?" My voice cracks. "Cato what are you doing?" I step forward toward him, the back of the chair facing me. The only evidence to tell of anyone even being there is the top of his head sticking up from the couch, his blonde hair standing out against the brown fabric like a polar bear in the tropics.

I take a final step so I can now see his face. His eyes are closed. He is asleep.

I am about to grab a blanket from our room to cover him, when I notice it: the red pool of blood, drenching his shirt, and the knife protruding from him.

* * *

(OOC: Thank you everyone for the awesome reviews! It has been you people who have kept me encouraged and it is you guys who are the reason I write for!  
Guests: I LOVE YOU! You all make me so happy :' )! If you keep reviewing I will definitely keep writing!  
ClovelyCato555: I'm so sorry for the wait, and I hope your not disappointed by this chapter!)


	9. Call for Help

**Chapter 9 – Call for Help**

The very first instinct I get is to run to the phone and ring the doctor, only, no phone kind of ruins that idea. And even if I had a phone, who would I ring? I even don't know who the doctor is here. I don't know a bloody thing here. And now, that lack of idea might cost my boyfriend's life. I don't need to put my fingers to his neck to check for life, I can clearly see his chest rising in a jagged motion. I'm just not sure how long that life will hold him for, it looks too exaggerated for anything less than severe pain.

I squeeze his hand, as if that will somehow encourage his unconscious body to hold on for a little longer. And, to ameliorate the anxiety building up inside of me just enough so I can think clearly. His huge hands against mine has always had that effect. The rough feeling of them would usually deter others, but to me it is like a lullaby calling me closer. It gives him character. It's honest, it shows what he does in career.

"I'm going out to find help, and when I come back with it, you better not be dead." I whisper. "You're not going to leave me here by myself. Not now." I say, raising my voice as it succumbs into feelings. With that, I drop his hand and force myself up, away from him and toward the door. All the time worrying that he is going to die without me to be there by his side, or anyone.

I open the door and sprint. I don't even bother to put my shoes back on. Every second that slips by is crucial now. My body shivers as each leaping step chills me to the core. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do! He is going to die on me all because I can't find a doctor. I grunt in frustration as I use the anger inside of me to exert me more. Each step is no longer a stride nor a leap but instead a jump. My feet are barely touching the ground at all. If I was a little lighter I would literally be soaring.

By the time my feet have reached the brick paths of the streets my feet have gone completely numb, and feel like dead weight to the rest of my body. I run to the very first door and knock like crazy. After twenty seconds of knocking I give up on that house. Time is off the essence. Now more so than ever. So I result to strategy two.

"Help!" I scream at the top of my lungs. The only response is the echoing cry of a girl, who from her voice I can tell she is at risk at losing it all. At any moment now. "Someone please!" I cry.

The denunciation of the silence is deafening. It is painful. It is torturous. It is the angered response of negligence.

"Please someone! Anyone!" Desperation clings to my words like death to a corpse. That is when I am suddenly aware of the song 'Seven Devils' by Florence and the machine playing through my head. I am not sure how long it has been going, it is all but a distant hum, but now when there is nothing but silence hums, whether close or distant sound like screaming. Seven devils all around you.

"Help, please!" I repeat, but the response is always the same. It seems as if the world is punishing me. Seven devils in your house… I whimper. I am not going to let anyone take away Cato. I will destroy the devils. But I need an angel to do so. "Help me!" See I was dead when I woke up this morning, and I'll be dead before the day is done. I can see Cato before me now, his chest inflating and deflating. The rhythm is dying. And so is he.

I do not bother to wipe my tear scarred face. I know if Cato dies today, inside, I will die too.

Before the day is done…The haunting song is only making me more terrified of the repercussions of the situation if I fail my task. I will lose him. Forever. I push the satanic thought out of my mind. "Someone! Anyone! Please!" I yell again.

My body feels compelled to fall to the ground, in a crumpled defeated pile. However my heart nor my brain will give up that easily. No, I have never been the one to quit, and there is no way I am about to start now. Not on the one I love. So torn between two sides my body is paralysed. The only thing that tells me I am still alive is the shivering sensation of the cold intermixing with the trembling of fear.

"Clove!" I stand bewildered. Was it just my imagination or had I actually heard a response? "Clove!" I hear again. The voice was angelic enough already but against the background of the nefarious silence it was so much more than divine. So much more than miraculous.

The footsteps sound rushed as they near me. I try to open my mouth in response but the words die in my throat.

"Clove what's wrong?!" I try again, but it only comes out as a tiny whisper. If the situation was less serious the irony could almost be humorous. Here I was trying to find help so desperately but when the chance finally reveals itself I choke. Time… time. You're running out of it.

"It's Cato! He… he needs a doctor," My words are stuttered but at least understandable. "Please help me, I-I don't know what to do!" The figure grabs my wrist with such strength and urgency in it, yet somehow it is still comforting. I'm glad he doesn't ask me any more questions, I don't know if I would have been able to answer without collapsing.

Before I know it he is sprinting, his hand still wrapped around my wrist like I was the only link between him and the dissipating world, but really it was the contrariwise. Whether he knew it or not, the life was escaping me, and he was the rope to my salvation. He was holding me above that very world which was fading all too quickly.

My vision is languishing. Sight is succumbing to darkness. I am becoming less and less aware of my surroundings. As far as I know I am in a completely different dimension to everyone. I have left this world.

I am only vaguely cognisant of an imperative knocking and the exigent discussion which follows.

"Clove?" By now my vision is almost gone completely. And I am more than ready to relinquish myself over to the obscurity. "Clove!" Yet I can't. I am getting drawn to the boy's cries like a siren's call. His voice so alluring yet I know the world outside of this darkness is far too dangerous for me. "Clove!" But, I have no resistance to the charm. I feel myself being propelled back to the normal world, I see my vision returning. And faces around me coming to visualisation. Over me, I see the crinkled face of a worried lady. To the left of me there was Peeta's masculine face. And to the right? Two familiar faces: Katniss and Prim. What were they doing here?

"Okay, so Clove what's wrong?" The lady says, her voice soothing.

"Cato… he was stabbed." I see the eyes of Katniss grow.

"Where is he now?" She continues to question.

"At… at my house." I stumble. I try to get up but falter and fall back down.

"It's okay I know where she lives. I can take you." Peeta says. He knows where I live? I push away the question. I must have told him while I was working.

"Okay, Prim can you grab the medical supplies bag and Katniss can you take care of Clove, she is obviously disoriented and should not be left alone until she feels better." Despite the situation I am in, just hearing that I am going to be left with Katniss is enough to make me sick to the stomach. Prim rushes off and comes back with a green bag the size of a briefcase. And just like that the three are gone and I am left with the devil. But if that's the price I must pay then pay I shall.

For a moment silence is all that is heard. And I am brought back to the icy cold streets of District twelve where desperation seeped through my cries of help. I shiver from the thought.

"You should lay on the couch. Take it from me; it's much more comfortable than the ground." Her words take me by surprise. I look up to see her hand reaching down toward me. With caution I grab it. I am half expecting her to let go in mid-lift or say 'jokes'. So when she doesn't I am almost mind blown. As if to screw with my mind even more she helps me stagger over to the couch. As soon as I am lying down, she opens her mouth again. "Would you like a hot drink or something to eat?". I shake my head. I don't understand what's happening here.

"Why are you being nice to me? I thought you hated me?" I say, my words have now lost the stutter and as clear as day. I guess my mind is happy for the distraction.

"You are in my house; it is tradition to treat visitors like a guest. I don't have to like you to be courteous." There it was. That was what I've been expecting.

"Mmm. Anyway how do you afford such a glamorous home? I thought District twelve was famous for their poverty?"

"Typical pretentious response of a district two citizen" I frown. I was sick of being classed as 'pretentious'.

"You're avoiding the question."

"Oh please, like you don't know." I furrow my eyebrows. What did she mean?

"Why the hell would I know?" I say anger weaving in and out of the words.

"Huh. I guess in the lapdog district they brainwash you when one of the puny outlined districts win." Suddenly it all makes sense. Why she had looked so familiar, why she had so much money and why she had such an amazing house. She was a victor. My mouth falls slightly agape. I don't remember that much from the seventy-fourth, I had only seen one airing of it and that she had won. I hadn't even bothered to go to the victory tour that year. I was too depressed from my dad trying to kill me…

I am literally speechless. What am I meant to say to that?

"Well you should get some sleep. Your boy toy is in good hands."

"My what?!" I say, shocked that she would even think that.

"You heard me."

"I have a lot of things on my mind other than sex thank you very much." I bite.

"Sure you do." She stands up and makes her way to the hallway. "Well I'm going to my room. If there is anything you need just yell." I nod my head still infuriated that she would call him my boy toy. She disappears around the corner only momentarily before poking her head around the corner. "And you never denied that sex wasn't on your mind…" I scowl at her before throwing my pillow at her. Sadly, it misses. Just. The only thing that lets me know she is departing is the quieting of the laughter as she steps away.

I close my eyes. Maybe I should get some sleep. There is no point lying here fretting about the worst case scenario, and after all sleep is the best escapism, right? Just as my body is submitting to the peaceful hold of slumber a vibrating sensation in my leg takes me into the restless world of the fully awake. I jolt upwards in surprise. My hand reaches into my pocket and grabs out the small trembling device. I had forgotten all about my phone. I unlock it, before opening kik, a program I hear was once based on a model hundreds of years ago. Straight away the phone trembles in my hand. Athesius has messaged me.

**CoolerThanYou28432** – Clove, where have you been? You literally have not been on Kik once the move.

**WantToSeeMyKnifeCollection1** – I'm sorry been busy. I have a job now…

My mind wanders with the idea of whether I should tell him about Cato, but after thought I decide against it. I might not be able to escape through sleep, but maybe social networking will be the answer. As if on cue the phone vibrates.

**CoolerThanYou28432** – I feel sorry for the hopeless guy who employed you.

I smile. How nice of him.

**WantToSeeMyKnifeCollection1** – Well he had no choice. I mean who wants to mess with a girl with knives?

**CoolerThanYou28432** – Not me. So what are you working as?

**WantToSeeMyKnifeCollection1** – A baker assistant.

**CoolerThanYou28432** – You're joking right? I mean have you ever even cooked before?

**WantToSeeMyKnifeCollection1** – It's nice to know that my best friend believes in me.

**CoolerThanYou28432**- Lol, well it's about time you start to appreciate all the things I do for you. =P

I am about to respond when my phone begins to ring. I close Kik and answer the call.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Clove," I breathe a sigh of relief. He isn't dead, thank God. "I just want to let you know that I'm okay."

"Cato! What happened to you?!"

"I'll tell you later, bye." The phone call disconnects. I roll my eyes. I just love how he answers me. With a reluctant body I push myself up from the warm comfort of the couch.

"Katniss, I'm leaving!" I shout.

"Okay are you sure you feel better?" She shouts back.

I nod my head, before realising that she can't see me. Initiating attempt two:

"Yes!" With that I walk out the door. I almost curse when I remember I didn't bring shoes. Great. More cold footed walking. I wince as I feel the freezing snow beneath my feet.

It takes about five minutes of attempted running to get to my house. By the time I got there not only my feet were numb but my legs up to my calves were too. The door was slightly ajar, which was good in my case because I don't believe if it was closed I would be able to have open it. My hands felt frozen, I couldn't move a muscle in it.

My whole body was in a state of convulsion from severe shivering. I couldn't wait to lie next to the fire.

As my feet thudded along the wooden corridor I only felt the slightest bit guilty of the huge puddles of snow I was leaving behind me. But the rest of today's activities were enough to make me see past it.

I find the three of them in the lounge room, mugs in hand, surrounding the central of warmth – otherwise known as the fireplace. I scan the room and as soon as my eyes rest upon Cato I feel a sudden joy building up within. I knew he was alive, I knew he was okay, but for some reason I couldn't really process it until I saw him. Too many times have I been tricked by the dangle of hope and appearances to believe everything I know.

My first instinct is to run over to him and throw my arms around the bulk of muscle I call my boyfriend. But I don't. Cato and I have never been the ones to show our love publically. Of course there has been exceptions – such as Cato's mother and family – but this wasn't one. So instead of playing with lovesick words and concern I go at the subject from a different angle.

"What the hell happened Cato?" I demand.

"What no 'are you okay Cato?'" He says.

"I can see you are just fine. Now tell me what happened."

Cato tells us everything. Around midway through the story I finally sit down next to him. It turns out that he was on duty as a Peacekeeper when he saw a man around the age of twenty-three coming from the other side of the fence dragging a deer. Since hunting is illegal and travelling to the other side of the fence is more than illegal he was going to impeach him. When he told the man to come with him, he stabbed Cato in the gut and ran still lugging his prize. Cato in a state of pain lost his better judgment and trudged home, through the snow. Once he got there he fell on the couch before the fire and blacked out.

What surprises me next is Peeta.

I am just coming back from my bathroom when I hear him.

"You would have died if it wasn't for Clove. She ran out into the streets, no shoes screaming for help. Even when no one was answering she still pushed on. She really does love you." I burst through the door annoyed with such flattery.

"Well you would be dead if it wasn't for Peeta! He was the only person who came. He took me to get Ms Everdeen, and without her you would be dead as well!" I'm not quite sure why I am shouting. But I just can't control it. Maybe this is one form of emotional release from the events of today. I don't know. But whatever it was, it was highly unusual of me.

"Me? Clove I didn't do anything but answer a call. It was you who was the hero."

"All I did was scream! Don't act like you did next to nothing! You are the reason he is alive for crying out loud!" I storm off into my bedroom. I know that Peeta and Ms Everdeen leave shortly after by the sound of departing footsteps. After a little of thinking I was no longer annoyed at Peeta but instead myself. What was happening to me? Why was I losing my grip over Peeta's display of modesty?

I knew the answer.

I came from district two, a district brought up valuing pride and arrogance. I have never come across modesty there before. This was the first time and to be honest I didn't understand the humbleness. What would one have to gain from it? Why would one ever be modest? Perhaps Peeta's value made me realise how far we are away from home. Maybe I was having trouble dealing with the fact that I have left the place where I once had two loving parents who thought of me as nothing short of a miracle.

But either way, I did not understand 'modesty'.

But I know I want to try.

* * *

(OOC: Special thanks to my new Beta Reader: Safeandsound12! I appreciate your work :D  
Guest -I hope this made it better :)  
Guest - Nawww, I'm so glad it did! Because you're review made my mine =D)


	10. I'd Destroy You

**Chapter 10 – I'd Destroy You**

My hands run across Cato's back, his smooth skin radiating warmth into the cool of my veins. Over time they have come to know it like an upbeat melody.

The doona encompasses us in a quilt cocoon, pressing us against one another in a warm embrace. His breath is slow and controlled, his structure relaxed yet poised. His face is calm and a small smile plays his face well. Only in sleep can he look this innocent, this vulnerable.

He is turned towards me, his chest pressed against mine, his face near mine and our breaths intermixing as one. Despite his struggles of earlier today he seems not too bad which is a relief. However he won't be able to go to work for a few weeks as instructed by his work manager, whoever that is. But of course now we aren't getting paid for it, which means now we are actually relying on my work's pay.

I am shaken out of my thoughts by the pitching screech of the alarm clock by the side of my bed (battery ran of course, we still get no electricity, against my constant complaints). The instant reaction is Cato groaning as he goes to stand up. I push him back down.

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask.

"Clove I got to get ready for-," His words fail him mid-sentence. "oh, right." He slumps back down into bed without a complaint. I smile at him.

After a quick cold shower and dress change I say goodbye to Cato (which he responds with a nonsensical mumbling) and head out the door, the cold air greeting me like an old friend. Its fingers sweep across in gentle strokes.

Snowflakes surround me, falling carelessly into my still damp hair.

The walk over is brisk, yet lengthy in my mind, my solitude grants me time for thought. I am thinking about everything since we have gotten here: how we left everything behind yet slowly we are paving our new road through uncharted territory with confidence. Despite the obstacles.

I open the door and the familiar scents of baked goods attack my nostrils. "Peeta?" I call out. No response. I walk past the counter and into the back.

My eyes .lock onto him instantaneously. His back is arched and toward me as he leans over the counter making dough. I take another few steps.

"Hey there." His reaction is comical to the point where it is borderline terrified and put on. He whole body leaps a good half a meter.

"For crying out loud Clove you almost gave me a heart attack." He says, his voice in a light-hearted mood. I search his face, his pale blue eyes are glossy in the room, his face showing an age much past its birth, it is crinkled by years of smiles. The latter two attributes seem contradictory to me, but how would I know, in my district everyone uses make-up or surgery to get rid of them.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…," I stifle my laughter from him, layering myself in a masquerade of solemnness. He doesn't question it. And why would he? I have had years of experience covering my emotions whether happy or, more commonly, sad.

"It's fine. Now good news, we have got ourselves a catering job." My eyes question his. "Well I expect you haven't been told then?"

"Why would've I?"

"Because it's for Cato." I pout. Why wouldn't he have told me?

As if reading my thoughts Peeta says, "Now before you tear of his arm and beat him with it, he might not know yet."

"What's the occasion?"

"It's just for him joining the peacekeepers, from what I've heard they've been planning to do it since he got here, it's just unlucky that it has to be a couple of days after his incident." My lips almost falter, almost leaving me exposed to the grimness his incident brought up inside of me. I remind myself he is in fact fine, and probably enjoying his sleep in.

"So it's tomorrow?" He nods his head in an optimistic worry, if these words could ever make sense next to one another it was now.

"So what are we looking at making?" I say, moving onwards to the bigger question at hand. One day is very short notice, or at least I believe it was back in District Two.

"Well, we have to feed about ten peacekeepers, the mayor's family and the victors because they qualify for important now." I nod my head. "Oh, and of course you." My eyes arch.

"Why?"

"Well you are the guest of honors partner." I don't know why but I frown. The word partner hits me like a knife in the gut. I am only seventeen. I am not in any rush to marry.

"We're just going out. We're not that serious yet." I know my words sound stupid and I know I shouldn't be trying to prove anything but I can't help myself.

"Oh, sorry didn't mean to make you feel awkward." A silence fills the air like water being poured into a cup. "Well I wouldn't be surprised if he asked you very soon." I refrain from lifting my eyebrows at him. We are only seventeen. I am not sure of the customs here in District Twelve but back in District Two marriages were generally seen for twenty and over. Of course that didn't stop the odd few but those were the ones that were always looked at as if they were trash, those were the ones which no one wanted to be seen with. I didn't want Cato and I to be those people. "We should probably start cooking, we'll need to make fifteen soufflés, thirty…" I don't really take notice of his words. I am too busy thinking about what he said about Cato. I couldn't imagine him proposing to me. The whole idea of it seems surreal, but I'm not sure whether it is good or worrying. I couldn't ever imagine him proposing. Just like how I could never imagine pigs flying. But then again my mother always told me that I had lacked it.

If he ever asked me, how would I respond? Would I breakdown in a tearful joy? Or would I fill with disgust? I don't know. Marriage to me seems like such a huge commitment to make. I don't know whether I would ever feel ready to make such a decision. Well it's not like Cato's going to ask me tomorrow. I will have plenty of time to think.

By one-thirty Peeta and I have finished the main and only have to work on the desserts. He steps me through the creation of the rather sophisticated soufflé. Peeta glances at the clock above the oven. It is time. He puts down the bowl of cupcake mixture we were making and cautiously takes out the desserts from the oven. He points out the golden tinted top and tells me that's a good sign but also that looks can be deceiving as he grabs a skewer from a draw.

"We will just poke them through the middle to see if they are too gooey." He informs me as he pokes it through his soufflé. He smiles as he brings it up clean. It is of course perfect. I wouldn't expect anything less from the baker.

He then moves on to mine, I'm not sure why but my whole body tenses. I feel like I want to impress him, I want to earn one of his benevolent smiles. I know they are easy to come across but they can change how I feel in an instant. They make me not only smile on the outside but on the inside as well. Well… that sounded rather corny. But it's true. I want the teacher to be impressed with the student. I need this to know I am capable of anything that is thrown at me, that I am responsible and that I was a good choice as an employee. I need – and that was when the soufflé exploded.

Yes exploded.

It felt like it was in slow motion. The whole moment seemed to drag on. I mean, there was his hand holding the skewer in between his index and thumb, it was just dangling mere centimeters over the dessert, slowly closing in changing those centimeters to millimeters. And then? BANG. It was like an atomic bomb was dropped over the bakery. I don't know why but Peeta had been peering intently at the dessert, he had leant in close and everything. If I had thought his reaction this morning to me creeping up on him was comical, well let's just say this was beyond hysterics. He had even fallen backwards from the surprise of it.

He looks up to me with an expression on his face which I interpret as 'I can't feel my heartbeat anymore'. His eyes meet mine with sheer terror and nothing less. As humorous as this is, it's not what sets me off. It's not the reaction but instead the result. His face is covered in a thin layer of chocolatey barrage. His hair has gone from strawberry blonde to a light brown. I instantly recognise the familiarity of this from the flour experience, which of course only makes my state of mirth more uncontrollable.

Laughter explodes out of my mouth like shrapnel from a fragmented grenade. No that it too much of a small scale. It's more like lava from a volcanic eruption.

When Peeta glares at me I try to shut up. It takes a moment or two but it works. Pure anger is on his face now and the deep sudden worry of being fired hits me. I need this job. Cato and I both need me to keep this job. This is our only source of income. My face instantly glums.

"Peeta, I'm so sorry." I say as I step forward and offer my hand down to him.

"Yeah well me too Clove. I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to let you go." The sodden look on my face wilts and dies morphing into something far more depressed. I have let myself down. And even worse I have let Cato down. The one time when he needs me and I screw him over. I am too lost in my melodramatic thoughts that I don't notice the first few seconds of laughter filling my ears.

I glance back down to Peeta. His eyes are laughing with him.

"Gotcha!" The familiar words are comforting and I cannot help but to laugh along with him. "Oh that was priceless…" He says as he wipes away pretend tears. I somehow manage to shoot him a scowl in between laughing fits which I am sure decayed the effect of it.

I humph. "You can get yourself up now." I say as I turn away from him in pretend anger but somehow manage to slip on a lone piece of soufflé. If I thought I was a volcano, well Peeta is just the force of ten nuclear bombs going of all at once.

After an eternity of laughter he finally manages to speak.

"Maybe you should do the cupcakes…" And thus starts a new one.

After we wipe down the floor and the walls of the dessert we finish our jobs. I think I like cupcakes a lot better than soufflés, they don't have the tendency to explode.

Throughout the rest of the day Peeta continues to tease me in a good-naturedly manner. He tells me he didn't even know it was possible for a soufflé to explode after it was taken out of the oven, and especially not from a skewer. That's when I respond back with, "Yeah well I didn't know people could jump and fall that far backwards." It seems to shut him up. Or at least for a little.

By eight-thirty we have finished our cooking for the dinner tomorrow. He hands me the day's wage and tells me same time tomorrow.

As I slide out of the door I feel higher than air. My feet feel light and springy, and my heart is beating in a steady healthy rhythm. I always feel so amazing after working with Peeta. It is impossible to be broken with him. He is just so… happy all of the time. He is the extreme optimist that I wish I could be. Yet, being around him makes me feel like I can, like I am. It really rubs off.

I am just about to leave the path which strays from my house when indulgence grabs me. The path leads to the Victor's Village. On impulse I follow it, past the unused houses and straight to the only one with lights turned on.

I look up at the house. I never had time to take much notice of it last time. I was far too worried about Cato then. Now, my mind is clear, my mind is simple and free to take time to sate my curiosity. The house is grand in structure. Much better than a lot of the houses in District Two. These few houses are identical, but look out of place here. They are surrounded by snow and on one side the ash stricken center of District Twelve. It is like finding a gem amongst the trash.

I take a deep inhale before knocking. The sound of my knuckles tapping against the wooden door sounds nothing alike when I had done it previously. Then it sounded loud, impatient and rude. Now its gentle, patient and polite.

It doesn't take long for the door to open. Katniss stands before me, her hair wet. She looks at me surprisingly.

"Hey, I was just on my way back from work and I thought I'd stop by." It's strange how far-off first impressions can be. I'm just glad that I have had the chance to change mine about Katniss being a total superior bitch. Ever since that day when Cato was stabbed, she managed to change my mind. She was… friendly. I could really do with friends here. And I think Katniss will be a great choice.

"Look, Clove. Just because we talked once doesn't mean we are friends. The only reason I was nice to you was because you were in my house. And I'd rather keep you out of it if I can. Because guess what? You and your sex object still sicken me. Goodnight." She closes the door, and the gush of air smacks me in the face with force. What was I saying before? Oh that's right, Katniss, total bitch.

I storm off in an aggravated rage which manages to dissipate just as my hand touches my doorknob, because inside I know there will be Cato waiting for me. He will embrace me with his warmth and ask how my day was. I smile at the thought.

I take my shoes off and place them in the doorway as I walk in. I am greeted by loud chattering and an air of smoke. This isn't the smoke from a beautifully lit fire; no this is the pungent hazy one from the cigarettes. My smile instantly fades. Was Cato smoking?

There were few things that I found intolerable in life. Smoking made that list. I couldn't understand why people would do something so stupid and terrible for their health. To me, it defied logic.

You know that aggravated storm that had dissipated just a second ago? Yeah well it came back. I storm into the kitchen/lounge room with teeth grinding. Inside I find Cato and three other guys around a table playing poker. In everyone's hand is a lit cigarette. Except for Cato. I smile again. Wow, all these mood swings and people may start to think I'm becoming bipolar.

"Hey, who are your friends?" I ask.

"I'll raise you five." Cato says ignoring me. I frown and move over to the fireplace. I guess their warming arms will have to suffice then.

One of the three man laugh. "You don't think I know when you are bluffing?" He snorts. "I'll call your bluff." I turn to see the man putting five coins on the table and Cato's face scrunching up into a worried expression. I mentally face palm myself. With a poker face like that it's a wonder we still have a house.

I watch as Cato and the man flip their cards. The man has a pair of jacks and Cato has squat. I watch as the man takes the money and laughs.

"You're getting low, it might be best to quit before you lose everything." Another man teases.

Curious, I patiently wait another hand just to see how Cato will play it. It turns out, not very well. More laughs as he loses eight more gold pieces.

"You're fully out now Cato." They all laugh as if it is some hilarious inside joke.

"Oh come on guys, I can bet my watch it's worth at least fourteen gold pieces." I shoot Cato a petrified look, which he either doesn't see or ignores. Either way it pisses me off.

"Sorry you know the rules money only." Good. I would love to come back to work with food still at home. Or you know… a home.

Cato gets up reluctantly. He is no doubt annoyed at himself. Which is nothing compared to how annoyed I am of him. He had used all of our money. Everything. What if I had been fired today? We would be starving by next week. My hand subconsciously travels down to my pocket, and clenches around my days wage: another twenty two gold pieces. But I only take five.

I sit down in Cato's seat before they deal the next hand and show them the coins.

"Deal me in." They all laugh.

"Oh come on, pull the other leg. We are professionals, so little girl take your measly five pieces and be off. Leave the gambling to the men." The man who took out Cato says. From here I can see him much more clearly. His eyes are a dark brown, his hair is a short and crisp hazel and his tanned jawline sports a rough five o'clock shadow. My teeth grind, before smiling.

"Let me guess you're all afraid of getting destroyed by a seventeen year old girl. Well I don't blame you, I am pretty good." The three men trade smug looks with one another before all turning back to me.

"Well miss, don't go cry to your dollies when you've lost your pocket money." Wow this was going to be fun.

"Clove what are you doing? Girls can't play poker." Cato says. I cross my arms. Oh we'll see about that.

"I'm going to get back all the money you lost." I say smugly. His eyebrows arch.

"Do you even know how to play?"

"I'm a quick learner. And it's not like there's much to it."

"Well Cato, seems your woman is not only daft but stupid." The three men snort.

"Clove we don't need the money, just come back we can cut the losses while we still have money." I arch my eyebrow to him.

"Take your own advice before you offer it to others." I reply seemingly indifferent to him. The other three man laugh with hysterics.

"You got caught out!" One of them teases. I secretly smile. It's not so bad when people are on my side.

"Clove, at least let me teach you how to play." He pleads.

"Well I can see that that worked for you. I think I'll pass and just learn as I go on." More uproarious outbursts. But what no one understands, not even Cato, is that they are about to be hustled. My father and I used to play all the time. I rarely lost. And this definitely wasn't going to be one of those times. "Now get going and let the 'little girl' handle it because obviously the 'man' can't." Okay, so maybe that was a little mean, but I don't care I'm furious with him for being so sexist. How could he even think that after we have been together for so long? He deserves to be put back into his place.

Cato glares at me before he walks off, the other men making whip noises. I wonder how they will feel when I destroy them. Another secret smile passes my face in an instant.

"Firstly tell me your ages and names. I need to know who I am going to crush."

The man on my left speaks up, his features quite sharp and his skin covered in a thin layer of ash. Miner. "I'd love to see you try. The name's Dominic, twenty-three."

"Kern, twenty" the man on my right says. His hair is a dark black, and his chin is rounded and smooth.

"Dylan, twenty-six." The brown eyed one says.

Kern deals us up, and I pick my two cards up after being told to pay the ante. I look at the pair of cards: a jack of spades and a queen of diamonds. One of the men bet one coin for the pre round, each man places down the coin come there turn.

"So what are my options?" I ask with a serious face. The men laugh.

"You can call, which means you pay the same amount of coins as everyone else, you can fold which means you exit the hand or you can raise which means you make everyone pay more." Kern says.

"Oh, well in that case raise two coins…. Now what?" More laughter.

"Put down the money." Kern says, and I do. They all call the raise.

Kern deals the flop: a nine of hearts, eight of spades, seven of spades.

I instantly frown and I can sense them all looking at me, judging my hand. After they tell me my options I check.

They all smile to themselves and Dominic instantly bets one piece which Dylan raises to two. It is blatantly obvious that Dylan is the one to beat. He has the coins and the self-assured attitude.

Kern calls. And I am left with two choices. Fold, or call by going all in. I look down at the cards on the table all I need is a ten and I will have a straight. I chuck the two pieces into the middle and Dylan looks beyond delighted.

"Don't tell me you're going to go out on the very first hand girly." Dylan says.

"No, I'm going to win." The whole act of the naïvely arrogant girl who doesn't understand the game was going quite well, if I was honest.

The next card brought down is a six of hearts. And my heart falters. I need a ten. Or else I would have just made an idiot of myself. The doubt I let across my face is real, but it is only for show and I quickly hide it to pretend like I didn't want anyone to see it. Not that they are all looking at me I am all in.

Dominic checks and Dylan raises to eight pieces. Kern and Dominic fold. Now it is just me and Dylan.

We flip over our cards, after Kern 'explains' to me that this is what you do when everyone is all in or if all but one is all in. His hand is pocket sevens, which look well with the third seven on the table. His face is lathered in smugness. He believes he has won. I clench my hands. There is only one thing which can save me now. I need that ten.

Kern flips over the river (the final card). And it's a seven. I've lost. No I'm kidding it is a ten of hearts. Dylan's face instantly dies. And I pretend to be confused. They explain and I smile as I take the additional gold pieces.

For the next few hands I play the act of the stupid girl but it soon it obvious that I know a lot more than I let on and the others start to get annoyed as they try to read my now expressionless poker face. In five hands I have tripled my money to thirty gold pieces. I am now on average with Dominic and Kern. Dylan however still has sixty coins. By now I was really getting satisfied not by every coin I gained, but by every coin the others lost.

The night drags on, and twenty or so hands later Kern is knocked out, followed by Dominic a few hands later. By now Cato has come back to watch me do my magic. He went completely hysterical once Kern and Dominic went out. So did I, but on the inside. I tell Cato to shut up because I would crush him in it just as easily. It seemed to work.

By the very end of the night the game is stopped. I end up with fifty coins and Dylan has seventy. He claims he is tired but I know the real reason. I think we all do.

Cato and I wave to them from the front door, and they wave back, but the humility on their faces is far too obvious.

As soon as I close the door I am about to tell Cato off when he wraps his hands around my face and kisses me. For thirty seconds or so we stand in the hallway our lips connected, our tongues mixing to form the perfect amalgamation of passion and desire. His tongue is forceful but not excessively. Just the right amount. His hands transfer heat into my cool cheeks. The taste of alcohol dances on his tongue, but just barely. It intermixes with other flavours, harder to distinguish flavours. I don't know what they are, but the taste is tantalizing, especially when it comes from his tongue.

He slowly lessens his grip and slides his hands off as he removes his lips.

"What was that about?" I ask.

"Just seeing you take down those guys was amazing. You were unbelievable." I smile. This is the kind of admiration I welcomed. "Seeing you being so dominant was…" His words trail off and he locks lips with me once again. I don't have to guess very hard on what he meant, because as our lips mingle the lower half of his body is grinding against mine.

He grabs me by the hand and leads me to the bedroom. I have to say, by now I am completely turned on as well. The feel of him pressed against me, the scent of his skin so close to me has quite an aphrodisiac effect.

As we enter the bedroom he throws me onto the bed and gets on top of me. His hands following the curves in my body, like sunlight tracks the shadow of a cloud.

His hard-on is now pressing hard against me. He takes of my jacket and shirt, exposing to him my bra where his hands find relief. Suddenly I remember.

"Cato, do you have protection?" He curses under his breath.

"I thought you said you'd get it for me." He says pestered.

"Well I didn't. You can get some tomorrow. After all, you're not working." He growls at me.

"What?"

"But you can just pick it up on the way through, that'd save me having to go all the way down." I glare at him.

"Fine. But don't assume you'll be getting laid. Goodnight." I put on my shirt and jacket and cover myself in blankets.

"Well, just because we don't have protection doesn't mean we can't get off, we could-"

"No Cato. Goodnight." I interrupt.

"Fine… what about just me then?" I grab my pillow and whack him with it. Hard.

* * *

(OOC: Hey guys! I know it's been a while but I am back in school and updates will be a lot slower (but the more updates I get the more inspired I feel and if I become inspired I might just sit down and write and write and write) . I hope that this longer chapter will make up for it though :)  
Victoria-hunter-of-artemis - I'm so glad you are liking this! It means a lot to me when people take time out to just send in a simple review :)  
Guest- Thanks so much! Sorry it took so long!  
MicrowavedBeaver - Aww thanks! You rock my loyal reviewer!  
Guest - Wow this made me feel so amazing! I am so happy I had such a way with your FEELS :D AND I SHALL CONTINUE! :D)


	11. The Crook Cuticle

**Chapter 11 – The Crook Cuticle**

Another day of working with Peeta has me smiling, feeling lighter than air. However there's something which holds me down from truly soaring through the clouds. It's this nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me something is terribly wrong.

I ignore it.

What could possibly be wrong? Well, besides from Cato's condition and Katniss's bitchiness…

I think about tonight's schedule, how I have to escort Cato to the surprise dinner in his honour, and how I don't really know many people that'll be there.

Maybe it's just anxiety grabbing at my legs?

I push open the door of the bakery and greet the cold outside with distaste. Peeta told me that'd he'd take up the baked goods and set up, of course I protested but he wouldn't have none of that. He basically ushered me out the door. Saying something about how I have to get dressed up. He obviously doesn't realise that it only takes me a couple of minutes to get dressed…

When I come up to the deviation in the path which leads to Victor's Village I do not even bother looking at it. Just the thought of it makes me ticked off. Instead I push on forward, off the path and into the snow.

I open the door to the house and find relief in the warmth I am greeted with instantly. It's nice coming back to a warm house. I make my way down the corridor and walk into the lounge room. Cato's body is slumped in the same chair I found him bleeding to death in the other day. My hands quiver at the sheer thought and my feet falter.

I hesitate, call me paranoid but I don't ever want to see it happen again.

"Cato," I call, my face lifts as soon as I see his body react and his head swivel. "Looks like you've had a productive day."

"Yeah you can count on it." He gets up and moves toward me. "Is it eight already?"

I shake my head. "No, I got off early, it's only five."

His face contorts into a twisted smile. "Well then, looks like we've got some spare time up our sleeves then doesn't it?" His arms enclose me, and his hands slide down my back.

"Didn't get them." I say as I push him away.

"Why not?" He pouts.

"I forgot, I'm sorry."

"If you keep that up I'm going to assume you don't want me to ever get laid again." He jokes.

"Have you ever thought that the reason might be that I don't want to do it?" I joke back.

"Please, never want to have this hunk of man? Yeah right. I know you can't resist my amazing looks and solid body." He flexes his biceps as if that proves anything.

"Sorry Cato, but I think I can do better." I laugh as I push away his arms.

"Psh, as if, you can't top perfection babe" I glare at the name. "What's wrong babe? Don't like the name babe, babe?"

"Oh of course not, pooky-kins." His facial transition is hilarious.

"Touché."

"Do you know what would be good? What if we got out and had a dinner on the town?"

"You do know that we're in District Twelve right?"

"Well it's no District Two but do you don't think I'm that pretentious, right?" Damn't. Now I was saying that horrid word.

"Of course not, but I don't think they even have restaurants here…"

"There's one not too far from the bakery, one of the customers really recommended it, said it was 'bliss for the tongue'." I lie.

"Fine if you insist then, maybe we can pick up some protection on the way through." I almost roll my eyes at his unhidden desire for sex. "Let's go then." He says as he walks toward the door.

"Hold on big guy. You can't wear that." I say as I motion towards his tattered tracksuit pants and stained white jacket.

"Since when are you so fussy with clothes?"

"We have to look good. Don't you remember how you dressed when you first came to my house the day of that dance we didn't go to? That's what you need to wear." He raises his eyebrow in questioning. "This time I'll get to dress as well." He slumps his shoulders as he gives in. I follow him to our bedroom with a satisfied smirk.

I go to grab my suitcase from under the bed only to find it empty.

"I had a bit of spare time today so I unpacked it for you, they're in the dresser on your side of the bed." I smile at the gesture and ope.n the draws grabbing out a pair of jeans and my best jacket.

"Clove, I think you should wear this." I turn around to face him. His hands wrapped around an all too familiar black dress.

"I completely forgot about that dress." I say, more to myself than Cato. "I don't know Cato, it might not even fit me anymore."

"Well, I doubt that. You're not exactly packing the weight." He chucks me the dress. "And besides, I've never seen you wear it before. In fact, I've never seen you wear any dress before."

"We should probably keep it that way." I say, lost in thought of the shopping experience with Cato's mum. That was the only time I had ever worn it.

"Hey, you picked what I have to wear. I can always still go like this."

I scowl. "That's blackmail."

"I see you're familiar with the trade. Now get changed."

I sigh. "Fine. But I'm getting changed in the bathroom."

* * *

My reflection stares back at me, foreign and unknown. It's almost like I have travelled back in time to that day when I had first worn it. Only now I look so much older, so much wiser. Past times of fear, worry and depression have seen me age beyond my years of youth. But, if I look past the impact stress has had on my facial features I can see the radiance which lies beneath, laced by a sanguine outlook.

I admire myself for what has to be the second time in all my life.

The elegant and seductive dress played well with my skin and hair colour. My eyes look up to my hair. It was sitting up in a neat bundle, as it always was. I remember Cato asking me numerous times to let it down for him, but I never did. It was almost what identified me. Perhaps it was because through all the grief I had gone through, I wanted something to stay constant, something not to change, of course that doesn't really make much sense, but it had always seen to comfort me.

I could feel my hands playing with my hair unconsciously, slowly releasing it from the bundle it was in. I'm not even sure why I was doing it. Curiosity it seems has bested me. I watch, as if only a spectator, with no influence over my actions, my hair falls. It's like a complete transformation. It's almost as if it is a completely different side of me I have kept hidden from the world.

I look beautiful. But it's not about beauty. It's about the change it represents. I can leave it down and embrace every change that calls to me, or I can put it back up and try not to lose myself in the waters of alteration. But aren't I already too far under to try and resurface now? I am so different from that dejected girl who was estranged from her only living parent. I am independent, I am taking every opportunity I can grasp; I am already pulled under the water. But I am not drowning; no I'm merely just adapting to fit better conditions.

I gaze at the reflected image of my sin-black hair. It falls just above my mid-back. I'm almost a modern day Rapunzel.

I slip on the shoes to match, and I step out to see Cato adjusting his mauve tie. If you look at him closely you can see that the suit is a little small for him, but it's not blatantly noticeable. He looks just as handsome as that day when he came to my house dressed in it.

As his eyes scan me, they widen.

"You look amazing Clove." I take a few steps toward him, so I am standing right next to him.

"And you? Well you look dashing." I smile, my hands opening his hair styling gel on the dresser by the side of me. I dab my fingers in the substance. "All that you need, is a little bit of hair style, and you will just be perfect." I say as my fingers sweep through the very front of hair, styling it up. "Done." I wipe my hands, never leaving eye contact. "Now, what do you say about getting some dinner?"

The walk there is cold yet embracing. It is filled with idle chatter and small but genuine smiles.

We stand at the door. "Clove, isn't this the assembly hall?"

"Don't be ridiculous." I lie. "I know where I am."

I knock at the door, just to allow people to know that we have arrived.

The door opens from the inside and we are greeted to cheering. It's quite intriguing to watch someone's relatively calm face disappear into a beyond confused expression in half of a second.

"What?" Cato asks.

The room is well lit; tables line it in a U-shape, with the Mayor sitting central, and his daughter to the left of him. He stands up.

"Welcome Mr. Douglas and Miss Mason. In celebration of your acceptation to join us here in District Twelve, this feast is in your honour. I would very much so like it if you would both join me at head." I follow Cato up to the head of the table where he sits next to the mayor, and I next to him.

It is only then after I have sat down do I notice who I am also sitting next to. The queen bitch herself.

"Hello Katniss." I say succeeding at a fallacious smile.

"Well, I can see you've found your wardrobe, so tell me, how exactly did they get all twelve tons over here?"

I clench my jaw.

"First course I present to you is the entrée, created by myself and Miss Mason." I turn to face Peeta who is carting a metal trolley containing numerous saucers containing four small spring rolls each. I go to get up to help, but am quickly dismissed. "Madam it is fine, just sit down and enjoy your-" His words trail off and his mouth falls slightly agape. "Clove?" I don't know why but I suddenly feel extremely self-conscious. I sit back down feeling useless and awkward, as Peeta reaches over my shoulder and puts down my meal, only after the mayor, his daughter and Cato.

We wait until everyone is served before we eat. I had only made a few spring rolls with Peeta, he was much faster than I was. As I chew, the flavours mingle to create a succulent and delectable taste. I've had spring rolls before, but this is bliss in comparison to them.

I am only vaguely aware of my name being called. "Clove?" I look up to face Cato, his eyes penetrating mine. "The mayor is talking to you." My eyes flit past Cato to the Mayor.

"I'm sorry, I was just lost in the array of flavour."

"That's quite understandable; you and Mr. Mellark did a commendable job on them. Anyway, tell me how you both are finding my modest District?"

Cato speaks first. But it's not like I was in any rush. "It's lovely, the winter mountains are beautiful here, and it seems like people are friendly, you know, besides who I was stabbed by." He half-jokes, but the mayor reacts apologetically.

"I am so sorry about that, we usually do not have so much trouble in that way. You don't have to worry though, that person is being punished as we speak." He mumbles. "Miss Mason, I've heard you're fitting in quite nicely, you've only been here for the shortest of time and you already have a job at the bakery. How is that going?" His face seems genuinely curious.

"It's great. It feels good to finally do something with my day." I admit. My head swivels and I notice an empty seat next to Katniss.

The mayor, as if following my eyes tells me, "It's for our only other Victor." My mind wanders, trying to think about who else has won from District Twelve. Back when I was in training school we were made to learn every victor and watch every game as to learn from their strategy. I remember a man named Magnus Riora who had won the 13th Hunger Games, but he was now deceased. Finally it comes to me: Haymitch Abernathy. He had won the last quarter quell where there had been double the competitors. Other than that I don't know much. We were never allowed to watch that game. I remember Haymitch from last year's reaping. He had literally fallen of the stage. Drunk off his head. Well that's probably where he is now.

For most of the night I try to avoid even looking in Katniss' direction, but by the last course, the dreaded soufflés, I tell myself I'm just demeaning myself to her levels. And besides, the best way to get back at someone is with kindness.

"Oh by the way Katniss, you do look lovely." She raises on eyebrow as if this is a trap.

"Are you trying to be funny?" She says, anger on her face. "Well I'm sorry I didn't lower myself to such degrading levels as to wear a dress unlike you," That's when I realise she is only wearing a pair of jeans and a jacket. "and do you know why I didn't go all out? Well, if you're so curious, I didn't think this was an event worth celebration. But I couldn't just stay home could I? No. I JUST had to go. I JUST had to come and welcome the tourists."

I give up. Screw kindness.

"Oh for crying out loud, I'm so sick of your bipolar mood swings and bitchiness! Would it kill you to be nice for one dinner?!" I say, only to realise my speech has grown into yelling. Oh what the hell, in a penny in a pound.

She glares with eyes like knives, but I am not easily intimidated.

"Why should I be nice? You tell me why. I don't even want to be here! Why the hell are we having a feast to celebrate Mr Peacekeeper here and his pleasure toy when people out here are starving?! When people out here are dying from starvation! Why?!" Her voice raises matching mine.

"You expect me to believe that you grew a sense of ethics, after the way you have been discriminating against me just because I come from a different place? Yeah right. If you don't like it, leave. No one is stopping you." Katniss storms out, feet thudding dramatically against the wooden floorboards. I turn to face everyone staring at me in shock of the scene which had just played out before them all.

For the rest of the night no one says anything about the fiasco, or not to me. In fact, not much is said at all, just little bits of chatter here and there. I think I terrified them.

The next few courses fly by, I don't take too much notice. I'm just looking forward to the end of the night. I can feel people's eyes on me, only to move them once I look at them. It's like I just destroyed my whole reputation in one sitting. Aren't I good?

Eventually it finishes and I tell Cato that I'm going to help Peeta clean up. He doesn't argue, he just disappears into the amalgamation of people exiting. I wonder if he's angry with me? From now on he will probably be known as 'that guy who's dating that crazy chick'.

I start stacking plates around the room, as Peeta does on the other side of the room. Once we have all dishes on the trolley we take them into the kitchen out the back of the room. Straight away I feel his eyes on me.

"I know. I know." I say. "I shouldn't have done it."

"Well, it's not like it was only your fault." I turn to him, taking in his attire. He is wearing a collared white long sleeved shirt, with black full length trousers. "I bet you got a few glances, eh?"

I smile. "Like you would not believe."

He fills the sink with bubbly water. "It'll blow over, trust me."

"I hope so because the truth is, as sad as it is, I actually care what people think of me."

"I know." He states, his hands scrubbing plate number one with force. "Well, you'll get them on your side sooner or later, even if you have to win them one by one."

I let out a short-lived laugh. "I don't know about that. Who says I can win anyone over?"

"Well you won me over." I look at him and he stares at me, before looking away. "How hard can a few twenty year olds be?"

I nod my head, too lost in thought to be able to hold a conversation. But perhaps Peeta is right; perhaps I can just win them over? I just need to know how.

The dirty dishes slowly dwindle until there is none, only a sparkly pile of dishes, which I dried.

"It's getting late Clove, why don't you head off, all I need to do is take the dishes to the bakery."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's all good."

"Thanks." I go to walk out, when I hear Peeta say something.

"Oh and Clove?" I turn back to him. "You look beautiful." I walk out feeling strange. He thinks I look beautiful? I'm not sure why but the idea sounds foreign. Well, maybe he didn't say that. Maybe I misheard him. Maybe he didn't call me beautiful. Maybe he just called me a crook cuticle. Yes that must be it. Most definitely.

* * *

(OOC: Sorry guys, I know it shouldn't have taken this long to update, but now I am going to write more. Since I am still writing 'Hardships of Teenage love' I will be alternating each week between writing a chapter for this and that.  
Guest- None of the poker players were Gale, I haven't even mentioned Gale in this fanfic as of yet. I will get there though ;)  
Guest - Aww thanks so much! I'm so glad, and so sad that your addiction isn't getting fed as often as it should be. Please forgive me !


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